


Lucky Winner

by natmoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (Very brief), Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues (Supernatural), Castiel and Dean Winchester are Roommates, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Non-Penetrative Sex, Paris (City), Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Professor Castiel (Supernatural), Self-Esteem Issues, Summer Vacation, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-24 00:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21329380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natmoose/pseuds/natmoose
Summary: Dean wins a trip to Paris. In and of itself, that’s an amazing thing, but the problem is: he isn’t in a relationship with Lisa anymore, and the trip requires a romantic partner. The obvious choice is Cas, his roommate and best friend of 3 years, but coming with that are some very very complicated feelings and things Dean absolutely doesn’t want to deal with.But Dean isn’t selfish and also really wants to give his overworked best friend a well deserved holiday, so the only and best solution is to take Cas to Paris, romantic theme be damned. What Dean doesn’t know is that their whole trip will be documented by a photographer from the company - so to avoid their vacation being cut short, Dean and Cas will have to convincingly play a couple.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills
Comments: 124
Kudos: 527
Collections: DCBB 2019, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, my very first DCBB!
> 
> I am very thankful to [Cap](https://captainhaterade.tumblr.com/), who beta'd for me, as well as the wonderful [Em, aka whelvenwings](https://whelvenwings.tumblr.com/) for helping me out so much with this, even in the middle of the night when I was panicking.
> 
> And of course my artist, Busy Squirrel. Thank you for creating this wonderful art!! Click [here](https://bs-acorns.tumblr.com/post/188823752068/art-masterpost-for-lucky-winner-2019-deancas/) to see the Masterpost of the art.
> 
> Edit: My roommate came up with the title. Thanks, roomie. You only ended 2 months of agonizing over finding a title in like... 10 seconds.

It starts off great. No, it starts off amazing. 

Who signs up for a competition for the hell of it, and actually wins? Dean’s been convinced all his life that these things are always a hoax. Nobody wins cruise trips or three cars from texting a number during a commercial break. 

And that's why Dean doesn't think too hard about it, when he sends the text to win an all-expenses-paid holiday after a long evening of drinking with his friends. He doesn't expect anything to come of it. How could it? It's clearly just a hoax.

Turns out, playing a drinking game while watching a TV game show that is some sort of Jeopardy knock-off with his friends is an absolutely brilliant—but also absolutely dumbass—thing to do. 

At one point, a baking-related question comes up, and Benny starts going off about the different types of pie crusts. 

Dean turns to him, delight in his face. 

“You know how to bake pies?”

“Sure do, brother,” Benny answers and also gestures to the empty tequila bottle, which makes Garth get up to get a new one. “I started baking because of that show—what was it? Something British baking-off—”

“The Great British Bake-off!” Victor shouts, suddenly into it. “Man, what a show. Did you see the one where Howard—”

And then Benny and Victor get into a deep conversation that Dean mostly blocks out, because what the fuck.

They don’t really hold up very well. By the second commercial break, Jo is singing along with the show’s jingle, very loudly and very off-key, continuing after it’s already ended, and Garth decides that the rules aren’t for him—that it doesn’t count if he specifically doesn’t know the answer. 

“I know nothing, Dean. I’m a dumbass. There we go, no more shots for me, what a pity,” Garth loudly declares. And hearing is apparently also a thing he knows nothing about, because he seems not to notice when Dean points out that out of all of them, Garth is the only one with a college degree. 

Overall, Dean’s thankful that his roommate Cas isn’t there, because if he saw this dumbassery, he would definitely just shake his head and retreat into his room and watch a documentary about something smart. To be fair, Dean doesn't mind it when Cas tells him little fun facts about it the next day over breakfast. Not that he'd tell anyone that, but still.

The point is that Cas is above this stuff, probably. He isn’t really above trivia, the dude actually loves it. He’s just not a fan of doing it in a room full of people throwing snacks around and yelling at each other and also of being in a room with more than three people for a prolonged period of time.

Every time the commercial break comes on, the game show host announces a chance to win an ‘All-Expense-Paid, Romantic Trip to Paris with YOUR Significant Other!!!’. And maybe Dean is privately thinking that it does sound... kinda fun. Not that he has a significant other to even take to Paris with him, not anymore, but it could be alright. Even the sparkles don't bother him that much. But he definitely hasn't drunk enough to say so out loud.

When it happens, it’s supposed to be a stupid dare. A way to make Jo shut up and Garth pay attention to what’s happening again. Dean doesn’t remember whose idea it was in the first place, just that at one point everybody is shouting “Do it, do it, do it”, as if they were all back in high school. 

So by the third commercial break, it’s on. And truly, what could go wrong. Nothing. Nobody wins these things.

So he signs up. Everybody cheers, and that is that. No harm done. They go back to drinking.

\--- 

When Dean wakes up, he knows his neck is fucked. After opening his eyes and assessing the situation, he realizes that he is crammed in one corner of the couch, while Jo, despite being much smaller, is spread out over the entire rest of the sofa.

He nudges her foot off his lap and gets up to make a cup of coffee and some extra-greasy bacon.

While all his friends start regaining consciousness from the smell of breakfast, Dean checks his phone. Maybe Cas texted him last night about how his conference in Denver was going. 

Dean frowns down at his phone when he realizes he has three texts from an unknown number. 

“What’s up?” Jo says while trying to steal some of the bacon straight off the pan, and promptly burning herself. 

Dean rolls his eyes as she starts cursing and helps her maneuver the dishes out of the sink so she can put her fingers under the cold stream.

“Remember last night?” Dean asks, to bring back the issue at hand. Not Jo’s hand.

She turns to him with an incredulous face. “Which part, dude? The part where you, for some reason, recited the first two pages of Slaughterhouse-Five? Or where Garth threw up in the plant pot? Or—”

“—he did what? No! I mean—urgh, keep your fingers under the water Jo, Jesus. No, the part where you guys dared me to sign up for that stupid trip to Paris, or whatever.” 

Jo hums in confirmation. “What about it?” She grins. “You didn’t win or anything, did you?”

“Yeah, about that…” Dean shows her the screen. On it, three texts, all in caps, exclaiming that he won the big trip and a code with which to register on the given website.

“Holy shit, dude!” Jo scream-whispers, wide eyes moving back and forth from the screen to Dean’s face.

“Holy shit, indeed,” Dean says.

\--

For some reason, his first instinct is to text Cas. That’s generally his instinct when things are going wrong, because Cas always seems to keep a clear head. 

Cas responds almost immediately.

_Cas, 10:34 am _

_I just got out of the train. Are you ok??_

The two question marks were warranted. All Dean wrote was, “Cas, I fucked up.”

_Dean, 10:35 am _

_Yeah i’m fine. i’ll explain when ur home_

Dean doesn’t realize that he’s been biting his nails while looking at his phone until Jo hits him in the arm. 

“Dude, do you want us to leave? I’m sure if you give us bacon, we won’t be too offended,” she says because she’s cool like that. He swears that one day he’ll do a DNA test to see if she’s not actually his sister, because she picked up on his serious and overwhelmed mood immediately.

He nods at her and smiles apologetically and she gets the hint.

Jo leaves the kitchen and nudges the other guys awake to get them out of his apartment. Dean paces around the kitchen with his phone pressed to his lips while they help themselves to a few pieces of bacon.

They leave while mumbling half-awake goodbyes.

Cas is still going to need a good 20 minutes until he gets home from the train station, so Dean decides to do the clean-up from last night while he waits. And when that only takes seven minutes, he starts cleaning the whole kitchen. And then the vacuum cleaner gets pulled out from under the clutter in the storage room because he’s already on a roll, and suddenly Dean is stress-cleaning the whole apartment.

He’s scrubbing the toilet when he sees a shadow fall over it and a “Dean?” comes from behind him. It startles him so much that he falls back and promptly hits his head against the sink, hard. 

“Son of a—shit, fuck, oowww!”

“Dean!” says the voice again, and it’s Cas. Of course, it’s Cas. 

“Dean, are you alright?” Cas sounds concerned.

Dean groans and sits up fully while grabbing the back of his head. Yeah, that’s going to bruise, but thankfully he’s not bleeding. That would have been a bitch to clean up.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he grunts, and finally looks up at Cas, who is half-crouching over him, still wearing his trenchcoat, and looking at him in confusion but also concern. It’s a good look on him but then again, everything is. Wow, he missed those beautiful blue eyes—okay, he might be a little concussed.

While Dean gets a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer for his head (he honestly doesn’t remember how they even got in there, or who might have bought them in the first place… maybe Sam had something to do with it), Cas goes back to his room to change and emerges not a minute later in sweatpants and a worn t-shirt that Dean could have sworn was his at one point.

He joins Dean on the couch after making them both some coffee and snacking on some of the bacon that Dean had totally forgotten. 

They take up their usual positions: Dean sideways on the couch, feet stretched out, and Cas sitting cross-legged on top of Dean’s feet in protest, until he relents and lets Dean put his feet in his lap. This time it takes less than 10 seconds for Cas to huff and drag Dean’s feet from underneath him onto his lap, mindful of the coffee cup in his other hand. Cas doesn’t even complain when Dean wiggles his toes into his belly in victory.

Instead, he turns to Dean, suddenly serious. 

“Do you want to explain why you were so focused on cleaning our toilet that you didn’t even hear me walk in?” 

“Oh, so no ‘Hello, Dean. How was your week, Dean?’ ‘It was fine. Thanks for asking, Cas. How was the conference—’?” 

Cas manages to interrupt Dean with a full-body eye roll and a dramatic sigh. Which is probably deserved.

“No, Dean,” Cas says, putting an emphasis on his name that Dean could never manage to truly impersonate, “you texted me that you ‘fucked up’ approximately an hour ago and then I found you obsessively cleaning not only our bathroom but what seems to be our entire apartment.” He pointedly looks over their dump-table that’s now completely clear except for Cas’s briefcase. “So what happened?” 

Dean briefly considers making fun of Cas for using air-quotes around ‘fucked up’, but he quickly decides that it won’t help the situation.

“Alright, so maybe ‘fucked up’ was the wrong term to use,” he finally says. To waste time while Cas expectantly looks at him, he shifts around the peas in the bag to apply the colder side to his head.

“Okay, you know how I had my get-together with the guys and Jo last night, to get over the whole Lisa thing? Well, I might have… forgotten to tell them exactly why I wanted to hang out and get wasted.”

“Dean—”

“Yes, I know, okay? But also, this was what it was supposed to be. I totally forgot about the whole Lisa thing and that was the whole point, wasn’t it?”

"When you texted, I thought you meant you'd drunk-dialed Lisa and told her you wanted to get back together or something"

"Huh? No, no way."

"So that's all it was? Just that you forgot to tell everyone you broke up with her?"

It’s quiet for a moment, while Dean decides about what he wants to tell Cas. 

"Yeah, that was— well, it was just a weird night."

Dean peeks at Cas, who is now looking at him in a way Dean can’t handle. It’s a mix of pity and something he can’t quite pin down. But he’s giving Dean a chance to explain everything in his own time and Dean’s grateful.

And actually, right now, Dean is just glad that his best friend is back and he wants to enjoy that for a bit before dealing with the more complicated stuff.

“So the guys ate most of the bacon before leaving, sorry ‘bout that,” Dean finally says. “How was your trip anyway, Cas?” Just to be an asshole, he nudges his socked toes into Cas’s stomach. 

Cas seems to sense that Dean is done talking about whatever was bothering him and—after a small pause and a sip of his coffee—he starts talking about the conference he attended. 

Cas used to be anxious he’d talk too much about his passion for linguistics, always thinking he would get started and wouldn’t be able to stop and bore people. But one movie night, after Dean had had one too many beers, he’d shyly confessed that he loved when Cas talked about linguistics and how passionate he was about it (he totally said that it was “cute” but nobody needed to know that) and that seemed to have eased Cas’s worries. At least around Dean. Nobody else seems to get regaled with as many fun linguistics facts as Dean, something that secretly pleases Dean, in a weird way.

The rest of their day is spent lazing around, watching movies and making home-made pizza. 

Tomorrow, Dean is going to have to get back to work at the garage and as much he loves it, he kind of wants to spend more time with Cas. 

There is no way he would admit it out loud to anyone, let alone Cas, but he really missed his roommate over the ten days he was gone. 

It’s not like the apartment they share is really big, but Dean is so used to always hearing another person moving around, and being greeted by another person when he gets back from work, that it felt weird not having that. So he spent most of the time in his room, where he could pretend that Cas was outside on their couch and Dean was just choosing not to spend time with him.

He also hadn’t really cooked much, since it was never fun to cook for only one person. Plus there was no way of smuggling in some veggies and pretending that it was only for Cas’s benefit. The dude couldn’t even warm up hot dogs without burning himself, which is why his diet had consisted of mostly microwavable hot pockets before he met Dean. 

It had only taken about one month of being roommates before Dean felt bad for the guy and they made an arrangement that Dean would cook good, nutritious meals for both of them if Cas took over dish duty. It had worked out quite well and made them bond over meals. They both ignore how domestic the whole arrangement really is. 

It was during these meals and the Friday movie (or Doctor Sexy) nights that Dean slowly started to notice things about Cas. The way Cas’s nose crinkles when he laughs at Dean’s stupid commentary on the latest Doctor Sexy episode, or the passion in his voice and the way Cas’s hands move to explain more complex linguistic concepts. By now, these things make his heart flutter in a way that feels dangerous. 

This is all why his idea to _maybe _invite Cas to _maybe_ go with him on this Paris trip is _maybe_ a Very Bad Idea. 

But it is an idea that he definitely has, while Cas is raving about an amazing French professor who gave a talk about a very specific French dialect in the 17th century or so. And the thought takes root, to the point that Dean can’t imagine anyone else coming along with him.

Obviously the reason why he wants to take Cas is because it just fits. It would be a thing good friends do, right? Taking their best friend on a trip like that? It’ll be fun! Just him and Cas, wandering through the streets of Paris, maybe holding ha— ice creams. No, those were an italian thing. But they probably have ice cream in Paris too. Point is, it would be fun, and an obvious choice, to take Cas.

So now the only thing left to do is to ask him. 

He’s already talked to the organizers of the trip, to make sure everything is legit. He still has some free days left at the garage. The woman he talked to on the phone had said that the trip would be a week in late August and he knows for a fact that Cas would still be free from teaching at the College at that time and as far as Dean knows, he doesn’t have any plans.

Dean stalls saying anything about it to Cas for a whole week. Every time he attempts the conversation, he either gets sidetracked by accident or just can’t find the right words. It isn’t every day that you just invite your best buddy to a romantic trip to Paris. How should he even start that conversation?

_Hey, roomie, best buddy pal, so there's this thing I won and it specifically, in very sparkly writing says that it's a romantic ten-day trip to Paris, France in Europe. Do you, my platonic best friend, want to come along because I'm a pathetic ass and just broke up with my girlfriend and kind of don't want to go with anyone else?_

Yeah no. Dean considers ditching the whole thing altogether at one point during that very stressful week full of pondering (to the point where Bobby has to yell at him a couple of times to get to work. Not that Bobby's yelling is very loud, it’s more of a gruff muttering). But then he thinks about the fact that he never really had nice things, and when will he ever have the opportunity to have such a fancy vacation ever again?

In the end, he decides to consult Charlie. 

He did try to talk to Sam about it, but all Sam said was: “Yes, of course you take Cas, what kind of question even is that?”, which is an answer he didn’t expect and honestly he was too baffled at the time by Sam’s tone of certainty to really discuss the issue. So he quickly moved the conversation to Sam’s studies.

So Charlie it is. He knows that he will get laughed at, but it’s worth it for some of that solid, wise advice that Charlie always seems to have. 

He goes over to her place after work one day. The only thing she requests are some donuts from the newly opened shop around the corner, which she says would _open her mind up to new and great ideas, Dean. They're amazing, just bring me the chocolate-covered ones. And strawberry for Jo._

He gets to her apartment after texting Cas that he won't be there for dinner and knocks on the door. He hasn't seen Charlie in ages, so this visit is long overdue anyway.

"Dean!" Charlie says, after opening the door and standing there in a Gryffindor cloak as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Dean can't help but grin at her.

"My Queen," Dean says, bowing a bit while holding out the donuts as a kind of offering.

"Aaahh. I accept your offering, handmaiden,” Charlie says, regal authority in her voice. “You may enter.”

They make themselves comfortable on Charlie’s massive couch and start consuming an amount of donuts that is definitely above the recommended amount for two people. Charlie also sends Jo, who is working a late shift at the Roadhouse, a picture of their huge donut box and they laugh at the angry voice message Jo responds with. Dean feels himself relaxing. It’s good to hang out with Charlie again.

Sprawled out on the couch, Charlie lets out a little burp and after Dean laughs at her, she looks at him for a moment, as if contemplating something. 

"So how's Cas doing? He's back from his conference right?” She takes another donut and it makes Dean’s belly ache just looking at it. She turns to him again. “I mean, I don't even have to ask. You're not all sulky anymore. He must be home."

"Wha-? I was _not_ sulking,” Dean protests.

"You so were!” Charlie says, impossibly stuffing another bite of donut in her face, then crinkling her nose after realizing it’s Jo’s strawberry-flavored one, and putting the half-eaten donut back in the box. “You didn't leave the apartment once, apart from work. And you can't put that on the whole Lisa thing, because that was more than a month ago."

"I had that party.”

“But I wasn’t there, so it doesn’t count.”

“That’s not fair, it’s not my fault you had a conference call with all of Japan,” Dean says. “And I missed your stupid face anyway. But we were just being idiots and watching some Jeopardy knock-off so you didn’t miss much.”

“Yeah, Joanna told me. Also about you signing up for that Paris trip thing and winning? Maybe? She told me she wasn’t sure if it was just a scam.”

“No, I already checked it out. It’s legit,” Dean says heavily.

“Well, you don’t need to sound so bummed about it. Wait, why _are_ you bummed about it?”

“Because—because I broke up with Lisa, and it’s a romantic trip. And I want to take Cas, but...”

“But?”

“It’s a _romantic_ trip,” Dean says putting extra emphasis on romantic. Just to make sure Charlie gets it. He doesn’t want to risk another Sam situation.

“And? I wouldn’t be above a free trip. I sure know you aren’t. So what’s the hold-up? Worse comes to worst, you do a bunch of cheesy romance-y stuff, but that’s nothing you can’t do with a best friend without making it weird. It’s free, take that opportunity. Or take someone else? I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to some _French cuisine_,” Charlie says, that last bit in a very terrible, attempted French accent. “Although Joanna would probably kick my ass for going without her.”

Dean is sweating. He knows all of this. He looks at Charlie.

"Yeah, but I really _really_ don't know how to invite him to this trip, without making it sound weird. Also kind of—it would be really hard to pretend to be all buddy-buddy during mushy crap. For me." Dean mumbles that last bit.

Charlie looks at him. Her eyes widen.

"Oooh," she says.

Dean suddenly can't look at her anymore.

"Oh, crap."

Dean can practically feel Charlie's gears going. She probably knows that she now has to parse her words carefully, because Dean's fragile little brain can't handle anything, really, and he might bolt once too many emotions are discussed.

"Well," Charlie says after a while. "That's a problem."

Dean gives her an incredulous look.

"The way I see it—you probably already know that you wanna take Cas with you, you just want me to say it so you can pretend it was my idea?”

Dean lets out a pained noise and dramatically pushes his head into the couch's cushions.

"What happens if I just don't tell him anything?” Dean asks, very muffled by the cushions. But Charlie still hears him. 

"Then Cas doesn't come with you," Charlie says.

"Well, that's not fair."

"Mm-hmm," Charlie said. Dean buries himself harder into the cushion.

"Why is my life like this?"

It doesn't really matter though, because he already knows what he's gotta do and unfortunately there's no hiding from it, no matter how big the cushions.

At least Charlie looks at him sympathetically when he finally lifts his head and looks at her.

"So what do I say?" He finally asks.

"The truth? It's not that out-there anyway. What happens on that trip will happen. In my opinion, you guys already act like an old married couple anyway, and also I think Cas is into you, so-" Charlie keeps talking while Dean groans, "so there's just more opportunity for something to happen. And hopefully, it'll be fun anyway. I mean, dude. It's Paris!"

\---

And so Dean decides to tackle the problem in the only way he really can tackle problems, which is with copious amounts of alcohol in his system. It's Friday and movie night anyway, so Dean just opens up a beer (and another beer, and another beer) a bit earlier than Cas comes back from his college. When his roommate arrives home at around 7pm, the fries have gone soggy since Dean had prepared dinner beforehand. Even he isn't enough of a daredevil to cook while drunk, and Dean is pleasantly tipsy.

"Heeeeey Cas." He waves at Cas from the couch, who is still struggling to get out of his trenchcoat.

"Hello, Dean."

"The fries are done, and I just warmed up the patties so you can take 'em and make your burger," Dean says, standing up and catching himself on the corner of the couch. Wow, he really had more beer than he thought. Cas didn't see any of this, having gone to the kitchen and already busy putting the buns in the toaster.

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says, like always. When he turns around, they are suddenly nose to nose. Dean hadn’t even noticed that he stepped so close to Cas, and now he can smell Cas's faint cologne and the distinct Cas smell that Dean can only describe as somehow stormy.

Way too late Dean says something that sounds a little like _Woow _and turns around. He can feel the heat in his cheeks and he squeezes his eyes shut and holds his breath to prevent himself from saying something really stupid.

Cas, meanwhile, doesn't seem perturbed at all, and silently starts putting together his and Dean's burger with the tomato and lettuce slices Dean prepared earlier. Cas puts ketchup and mayo on his and mustard and ketchup on Dean's (it's something Dean had to fight for. Apparently putting ketchup and mustard is "very close to blasphemy". But Cas got used to it) while Dean watches. He then sighs as quietly as possible and grabs the fries, to carry them over to their coffee table. Fridays are the only days Dean allows them to have food (that aren’t snacks) on the couch.

"So I thought today we could watch the new Netflix documentary about penguins? After Doctor Sexy?" Cas says from the kitchen.

"Yeah, of course." Dean isn't really even focusing on what Cas is saying because he's concentrating so much on not spilling the fries all over the couch. Yeah, no more beer for him.

"Want a beer?" Ah, dammit. Now it's gonna be weird if he says no.

"Sure!" Stupid mouth, stupid brain, stupid Cas and his stupid sexy voice asking if he wants a beer. As if he can say no to anything to a voice like that. Really, it's all Cas's fault.

The problem with too much beer or alcohol in combination with Dean is that he kind of… forgets. He forgets that he is not supposed to do certain things and not to want. It all flies out the window when he sees Cas, looking really cozy and soft in the TV's light.

Dean's not even really watching the episode anymore (And it's a new one. With Doctor Sexy in it—though they brought back the side-plot about the failed arm amputation which resulted in a one-armed ghost haunting the hospital, so he’s excused for not being _that_ invested). He's watching Cas, looking at his face, the dark circles underneath his eyes which mean he's been working way too hard and the way he cradles his bee mug that he filled with beer, because Cas refuses to drink out of anything other than a mug.

Dean inches closer because he doesn't really care that this is not okay in sober-Dean's mind. So he leans his head against Cas's soft shoulder and closes his eyes. Just for a bit. He feels Cas exhale and pretends not to notice when he feels Cas's stubble, as he puts his own head on top of Dean's.

The relaxed atmosphere slowly starts to dip into a nervous tension, as Dean starts to think about the conversation he wants to—well, _needs_ to have with Cas. He shifts his head around so that his forehead is smushed fully against Cas's shoulder.

This gets Cas's attention.

"Dean?"

"Hmm.”

"Dr. Piccolo is currently removing Sarah from the morgue. I feel like this is important to the plot and you should be paying attention to it so I don't have to," Cas says, his voice betraying some level of investment, but also concern for Dean.

"Hmmm," Dean hums again but does nothing to remove his head from Cas's shoulder. It's really quite comfortable.

"So, how do you feel about Paris?" Dean finally asks, after the dramatic music from the TV stopped swelling and drops into a quiet string piece and some teary whispering.

"—what?"

Dean doesn't know if Cas didn't hear him because he mumbled it into his shoulder, or if he's just too invested in the show. He lifts his head, the room spinning a tiny bit from the sudden movement.

"Paris. What do you think of it?" Dean says again.

Cas scratches at his scruff.

"I suppose it's odd that there is a Paris, Texas. I don't understand why people can't be more original with naming their cities."

"Yeeeeah. True. But I mean like. Paris Paris. As in France Paris."

Cas now turns to look at Dean, with a slightly confused look, that looks really cute together with his rumpled hair and sweatpants and Dean just wants to hug him and swaddle him in blankets and never let go and—

"I have never been, but of course it's always been a dream. Did you know that in French they say ‘en faire tout un fromage’ which is a saying about making a big deal out of something but literally translates to ‘to make cheese out of it’? There’s also a saying involving beans that I don’t quite remember. Generally, a lot of french idioms involve food. I learned that at the conference from a French Professor, actually. He came to Denver from a Parisian University," Cas says, obviously pleased to talk about it. "I would love to go to one of his lectures there... although my French is quite rusty. Why are you asking about Paris?"

Oh and there it goes.

"Hmm, yeah, I don’t like weird, stinky french cheese, so I can see that being a thing,” Dean says, wrinkling his nose. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “How would you feel about going to Paris? Uhm. With me." He adds the _with me _at the end, quietly, hoping that that isn't a dealbreaker. Cas would probably like to go to Paris with someone educated, someone he could talk with about the culture and people of Paris. Suddenly Dean feels very stupid for asking Cas.

Cas could probably go to Paris any time, choose his own people to go with. Go to museums and lectures and tours, not having to worry about an idiot friend who knows nothing. Who he would need to explain everything to.

"Dean... what—?"

Dean feels himself going red.

"Never mind, actually, don't worry about it, heh. I'll just, uhm, ask someone else, or—or actually just cancel the trip, it's stupid anyway."

"Dean, what on earth are you talking about?"

Oh, right. Words.

Dean sometimes forgets that Cas can't actually read his mind. No matter how often it seems like it. Dean looks at the TV, where the commercial break has begun and people are happily advertising some sugar-free yogurt.

"So, uh, I won this trip to Paris. At the end of August. For a week. And I thought maybe... you would like to come with me?"

Cas looks at him incredulously.

"It was Charlie's idea," Dean adds, but Cas cannot have heard him, because Dean is suddenly surrounded by a mass of soft but also firm man, destined to squeeze the life out of him, while murmuring _thank you, thank you, thank you, really?_ somewhere next to his head.

Cas pulls back. "Wait. Does that include a trip to Disneyland?"

Dean looks at him, startled. "I gue- maybe? I- I'd have to ask."

Maybe Cas wouldn't mind having an uneducated hick like Dean with him after all.

Now the only thing left to do is tell him about the whole romantic aspect. But Dean will have time to do that later.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean likes to think that he's a practical person. Someone who has his life sort of figured out, as much as anyone is capable. If he’s honest, Dean doesn't believe that anyone actually has a clue and over time he figured that everyone is kind of faking it till they make it. Or they have one thing very figured out, and then base everything off of that. Which is what Dean does.

He knows about cars, that's for certain. It's the one thing he knows and prides himself on. When he sees a problem, he can most likely fix it and he definitely can tell which problems need to be fixed rather urgently, and which ones are issues that can be dealt with later. This always comes in handy when he's working on a car, sees something that wasn't part of his project, and tells the customer about it. When they look at him in despair he can tell them the timeframe in which the issue should be repaired, so they don’t have to strain their budget immediately.

So Dean knows his stuff. It's easy to recognise problems in a car and decide their level of urgency.

Turns out, it isn't so easy when it comes to personal stuff.

The trip to Paris is nearing closer and closer, but Dean still hasn't told Cas about the main theme of the trip.

It’s a Wednesday afternoon, two weeks before the departure and when Dean comes home from work, he picks up the mail from the floor. Even though Cas is home most of the time, writing his Ph.D. thesis, he usually is so deeply in his own world that he doesn't really notice anything that happens around him. An apocalypse could probably start and Cas would be none the wiser.

Dean trudges through the apartment while looking through the mail. Most of it is for Cas from random universities all over the country, and he puts those aside for him for later. He stops in his tracks when he sees a bigger envelope, addressed to him. The envelope is an obnoxious pink and he blinks at it and wonders how he missed it earlier. He then sees the game show's logo on the back and looks up nervously, hoping that Cas doesn't show up randomly to ask about it.

He shoves the letters to Cas on the dump-table by the couch and quickly goes to his room. Normally he starts to make dinner immediately after getting home, but he doesn't want to risk burning something just because he's too distracted from thinking about the trip.

Sitting down on his bed, he quickly tears into the envelope and looks at the little stack of papers. The first one is a letter that starts with,

_"Dear Mr Winchester, _

_Congratulations on your win! _

There’s some more writing on the ‘wonderful opportunities’, and generally way too many exclamation points and some other details Dean skims over to get to the bottom of the letter.

_“Attached is the itinerary for you and your partner’s trip to Paris, we hope you enjoy your stay._

_Please don't hesitate to call or email me if you have any questions or issues:_

_+1-202-555-0132_

_becky.shurley@winatrip.com_

_All the best and love,_

_Becky Shurley"_

Dean is half tempted to just call and cancel the whole trip right then and there.

But then he figures he's being a drama queen, and also remembers that Charlie would probably punch him in the arm really hard if she knew what he was thinking.

So he sighs and looks at the pages behind- the itinerary for the whole trip.

If Dean hadn't known previously that this was a trip intended for couples, then this would probably clue him in. The list is filled with "fun little activities for couples" and also a list of restaurants where almost all of them have some form of the word _amour_ in their name.

He's surprised to find that the travel agency also arranged a private driver for them, who will be there for them any time they need. All of this was much more exclusive than he’d ever been thinking it would be. Most of the time he’s just been wondering what the catch in all of this is, and then he remembers the whole Cas debacle and decides that it's not worth thinking about more complicated issues.

Suddenly there is a knock on his door. He hears a soft "Dean?" as he shoves the pages under his duvet like a teenager who has to hide his porn, and smiles up at Cas when he sticks his head in.

"What's up, Cas?"

"I heard you walk in but then you weren't there so I thought I'd check," Cas says. "Also, I'm hungry."

Dean chuckles and stands up to walk out. "You'd really starve if I weren't here to feed you, wouldn't you?"

Cas blushes and ducks out of his room, probably to go back to his room and finish up his work for the day. Dean’s long over getting offended when Cas left to go to his own room seemingly in the middle of conversations. It’s just a Cas thing.

Dean shakes his head with a fond smile because nobody can see him and gets into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

"Pasta with meat sauce ok?" He raises his voice so that Cas can hear from his room, so he's startled when he hears Cas's voice come from the couch. "Yes, pasta is good."

"You done for the day, buddy?" Dean asks, getting the ingredients out of the fridge. He still has tomato sauce from a previous pasta dish, so the meat sauce shouldn't take too long to make.

Cas hums distractedly from the couch, sitting there with a novel and squinting at the pages.

"You probably need glasses, squintin' like that," Dean says, in a teasing tone.

Cas just glares at him. It's an old argument. Cas says it would make him look old. Dean secretly thinks he'd look very, very hot. Which is probably an argument _against_ the glasses, but sometimes Dean is just weak.

They eat dinner mostly in silence. Cas doesn't really enjoy talking while eating and Dean is usually too tired after work to really bother to have a conversation. But it's a comfortable silence from being in each other's space for three years and counting.

But tonight Dean can't really sit still.

"So, Cas," Dean finally says, clearing his throat right after. He has no idea why he's so nervous. It's his best friend, after all. "You excited about the Paris trip?"

Cas looks at him. "Yes Dean, of course. What's wrong?"

Of course, he noticed.

Dean laughs nervously. "Oh, nothing really, just thinkin' about the flight. Not a big fan of planes, you know that."

Cas looks at him and it almost looks fond. "Don't worry. We'll have plenty of time to prepare. Besides, there are movies on the plane and I have downloaded some podcasts about the history of LARPing which we can listen to together. And I'll be there to hold your hand."

Deans stares at him and decides to completely disregard that last comment for his own sanity. Cas probably meant it in the metaphorical sense anyways. 

"Man, you're awesome."

They wash up after dinner (well, Cas washes up while Dean goes to the couch and starts browsing through Netflix) and Dean still can't stop thinking about the itinerary. He'll have to tell Cas about it eventually. But maybe not today.

\---

As Cas promised, preparations were being made. After a bit of squabbling, Dean willingly accepts the over-the-counter stress-relief pills Cas got him for the trip. 

Dean had been absolutely sure that the "preparation" Cas mentioned had meant going to the airport's bar and preferably drinking as much whiskey as possible and also ordering the onboard alcoholic options, but Cas said that that would be very unhealthy and stupid of him.

The trip’s now only a week away and Dean still hasn't told Cas about the romantic aspect. As far as Cas knows, Dean has everything planned and it's supposed to be a surprise what awaits them in Paris. Dean has taken to sweating profoundly every time he starts thinking about it, to the point where Bobby tells him off for working too hard and suggests seeing a doctor when Dean keeps dropping tools from being so distracted.

It's a terrible week. But Dean is also kind of getting excited because Cas is getting excited and when Cas gets giddy about something it's really endearing and infectious. The nerd is even beginning to compile a list of obscure places he wants to visit in Paris. 

Dean vaguely mentions what Cas should be packing, so that his roommate is prepared for the activities and Cas only questions him a little bit when he tells him to pack stuff for swimming.

It doesn't get better when Bobby wishes him a great vacation with "his boy", and Charlie tells him she'll miss him and to enjoy his Parisian Love Story at the end of their call about the next LARP meet-up.

\---

Finally, the fateful day arrives. Or rather, the evening before the fateful day. Their flight is at 5:30 in the morning. It will take them about an hour to get to the airport which means they'll have to get out of the house at around 2 am.

Dean doesn't even bother sleeping, telling Cas that he'll just be too groggy to drive, but Cas trudges to his own room at around 9:30 and tries to get some rest before the long flight.

Or at least tries to. At around half-past eleven Dean hears Cas's door open and he appears in nothing but his pajama bottoms (with little rainbows printed all over them) and shuffles quietly to the kitchen and puts on a kettle.

"No sleep for you, buddy?" Dean asks empathetically. Cas looks particularly grumpy with an intense case of bed head.

"No. I kept waking up thinking that my alarm went off when it didn't," Cas says. He sighs and leans against the kitchen counter to wait for his tea. The problem with that is, this way Dean gets an amazing view of his chest and biceps which bulge as Cas crosses his arms.

For a nerd, he's surprisingly buff, but Dean logically knows that that comes from the running Cas does every morning at 5am.

Dean has called him crazy for that many times, to no avail. Cas just says that the naps afterwards are divine and that he likes jogging when nature is waking up and nobody else is around.

Dean tears his gaze away and looks back at the TV, which is playing some infomercial about the dangers of old people in parks or something like that. It's an old lady rubbing her ankle in a park. It definitely distracts him and makes him feel like less of a creep for staring at Cas for more than three seconds.

Cas finishes up his tea and goes to sit next to Dean.

"What are you watching?"

"Nothin' really, just zapping through," Dean says, carefully avoiding looking at Cas while handing him the remote. "Go crazy."

They end up watching a crappy documentary about possible alien-sightings. Nothing either of them enjoy, but it's the kind of stuff that's on in the middle of the night. They're both too lazy to actually look something up on Netflix.

After a while, they assume their natural position of Deans feet in Cas's lap. Cas distractedly massages Dean's feet, which feels incredible and so comfortable that he starts dozing off.

Next thing he knows, Cas is nudging him awake.

"Wha-"

"C'mon, Dean, it's one forty-five. Let's get everything ready."

Dean wipes a couple of times at his eyes, trying to wake himself up. 

Cas is already dressed and ready.

"Okay, lemme just—" Dean doesn't even finish his sentence as a yawn takes over. Cas isn't even listening, already busy brewing up coffee for their giant travel mug.

Dean doesn't need to change, since he hadn't planned on sleeping and already changed during the evening, but decides to brush his teeth again to get rid of the odd after-nap taste in his mouth.

Afterwards, he gets his and Cas's luggage and brings it out into the Impala. The elevator in their apartment building is still broken, but thankfully they live on the second floor, so it's not too much of a pain. It doesn't stop him from complaining about it to Cas though, once they’re both piled in the car, ready to go 15 minutes later.

"I mean it's been what. Two months? I've already told Frank to fix it about it three times. And what about Mildred? She's not getting any younger, you know? She needs that elevator."

"Mildred is 70 and probably fitter than you Dean," Cas says, face already pressed into the pillow he brought with him into the car.

Dean grumbles but can't really argue. While Dean has a lot of upper-body strength from working at the auto-shop, he's not really one for cardio and Mildred often passes him and greets him with a friendly (sometimes flirtatious) _hello_ while he's out of breath climbing one set of stairs.

They drive the rest of the way in silence, so Cas can sleep. Dean sometimes glances over and looks at Cas. The way his face is relaxed and lit by the passing streetlamps, illuminating his cheeks and jawline. He looks like a sleeping angel.

Before his thought gets too sappy, Dean focuses on the road again and they finally arrive at the airport about 3 hours before boarding time.

This is where Dean really starts getting nervous. He had managed to distract himself from thinking too much about the flight, but now that they're at the airport, a big lump in his chest starts to form and makes it a little harder to breathe with every minute that passes standing in the check-in line.

He doesn't even notice when Cas starts talking to him, focusing too much on trying to breathe normally, until he sees his roommate's face right in front of his, big blue eyes looking at him, wide with concern. There's also a hand on his shoulder, squeezing and grounding him. Thankfully there aren't too many people around, given that it's 2:30 in the morning, so they're not holding up a line.

Cas is doing some deep breathing and Dean starts subconsciously copying it, slowly starting to feel a little bit better. He's still nervous as hell, but at least now he can breathe around the lump in his chest.

"—okay, okay, good. Dean? It's alright, okay? We're alright."

He finally registers Cas's voice, talking to him in a low and soft tone. The familiarity of it brings him back enough to concentrate more on his surroundings.

"Good morning gentlemen, are you ready to check-in?" a voice from their left asks them. Dean looks at Cas, starting to panic all over again, but Cas just smiles at him softly and turns to speak to the lady next to them, who is trying to get them to move to the counter.

They manage to check in easily enough and start heading over to security.

"I didn't know that we would have business class tickets," Cas says conversationally, probably to distract Dean. "I was already getting prepared to be cramped for 12 hours."

Dean just hums in agreement.

They get through security without any issues and Dean remains mostly calm. It does help that Cas keeps looking at him with concern.

He also keeps touching Dean's shoulder, which simultaneously sets all his nerve-endings on fire and brain on alarm mode, but also soothes him and keeps him grounded. It's overall a very unnerving combination of sensations and all Dean really wants to do is take a nap.

"I wanna take a nap." They're at the gate now, and it's about half an hour before boarding starts.

Cas wordlessly digs out the pills out of his backpack and hands them to Dean with a bottle of water they purchased right after security (Dean totally hadn't been grumpy about the fact that they had just thrown away their bottle, just to buy a new, overpriced one). With them, he takes out two little protein bars. Dean didn't even realize Cas had packed all this stuff.

"This will help you. Also, they take about 20 minutes to get in your system, so it will be perfect for take-off," Cas says, while Dean reluctantly shakes out two pills out of the container. "But eat the bar first. It's not good to take them on an empty stomach."

"Thanks, mom," Dean murmurs. Cas still hears him and rolls his eyes and starts eating his own bar, so Dean follows suit.

The pills are still in his hand and he eyes them with suspicion after finishing his bar. Cas said they're over-the-counter calming meds, but it's Cas and Cas has odd contacts. But he also trusts him, so after looking at Cas, who nods at him encouragingly, he swallows them down.

\---

Turns out that those pills hit hard.

By the time boarding is called Dean is out like a light on Cas' shoulder, and Cas has to shake him quite hard to even get him to wake up. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to take two of them at once.

They stumble onto the plane together, Cas helping him by linking an arm through his. Dean feels the familiar feeling of panic set in when they reach their seats, but it never quite hits and he's forgotten all about what he was supposed to panic about the moment they sit down.

He distantly hears Cas talk to the flight attendant. _"Yes, he's fine, just a little tired. He was nervous so he didn't sleep all night". _He is aware of the flight attendant answering, but at that point, he's already half asleep.

Suddenly there's a softness between the hard window and his face, a hand strokes over his temple with the material—lingering a bit longer than would be normal, but maybe Dean imagines that. Then a warm blanket gets draped over his awkwardly-positioned body. Large, warm hands tuck it over him so that it doesn't slip away. It feels like he's being tucked in and a warm feeling of contentment spreads through him.

Dean wants to say _Thanks, Cas_ but all that really comes out is "Nnnnhh—" and then he's fully asleep again.

\---

When Dean wakes up, they're already two hours into the flight and Cas is watching something on the screen in front of him. Dean watches his face for a bit, still slightly groggy from the nap. Cas looks tired, but pleased. His arm is on the armrest between them and even though they're in business class and their seats are huge, Cas is pressed as close to him as possible. He can even feel the heat from Cas's arm against his own, and his foot is right up against Dean’s and as much as he'd like to deny it, it's incredibly soothing. 

Cas is probably doing it for his benefit since he knows how nervous Dean is, and Dean is grateful. It must be difficult having a dude as your best friend who is as messed up as he is.

He notices the pillow he'd been resting his head on and the blanket around him and smiles. Cas is really out there, taking care of him.

Hope starts stirring in Dean's chest but he squashes it down as quickly as he notices it, because no, no way. It's better to keep his distance and not project his feelings onto Cas and think of it as any more than a friend taking care of his friend. It's not like he wouldn't do this for Charlie, or Jo. 

Dean's sigh and movement alert Cas and he takes out his headphones.

"Have a good sleep?"

"Dude, stop grinning like that. What even _were_ those pills," Dean grumbles.

"It's okay, you only drooled a little bit."

Dean scowls at him but tries to discreetly check his pillow, just to see if Cas is being a little shit. The pillow is completely dry and he hears Cas chuckle quietly beside him.

"Shut up. Okay, c'mon let me out, I gotta pee," Dean says grumpily and struggles to pull off his blanket in a way where he doesn't tangle himself in it. He fails spectacularly.

Cas is now full-on laughing quietly and Dean just glares at him, but it doesn't last long because looking at Cas’s face does things to Dean that are too embarrassing to think about and he can feel his face soften. Cas stands up, still laughing in that quiet Cas way.

Dean finally gets himself untangled and stands up to go to the bathroom. It's weird walking in the cabin, and he tries not to think about the fact that they’re really, really high up in the sky, in a tiny metal aerodynamic box, hurling through the sky at about 500 miles per hour and—shit.

He grips the seat next to him and takes a short break but then manages to continue after a couple of deep breaths. Thinking about Cas taking breaths with him helps him focus. There's nothing he can really do about the situation now.

The bathroom is surprisingly spacey and awesome. It has golden lighting and even a few packed up toothbrushes for passengers to use. The towels are in a box and after relieving himself (while being very aware the entire time that if the plane goes down he’s going to die with his dick out) he picks one of the towels up after washing his hands and notices with delight that they're warmed up and oh so soft. He washes his face and picks up another towel, just to feel it against his face. He probably looks like an idiot, standing there with a towel against his face, but he doesn't really care because nobody can see him and—

There's a knock on the door. Then he hears Cas's voice. "Dean? Is everything alright?"

Dean flushes and glances back in the mirror. Everything seems to be fine, and he gives himself finger guns and facepalms right after.

"Yeah, hold on."

Opening the door, he's faced with Cas. "You've been in there for about 10 minutes."

"They have heated towels," Dean says, hoping that that counts as an explanation.

Cas leans to the side, peeking into the bathroom. He's standing very close to Dean, who didn't even realize that he was holding his breath the entire time and slowly inhales, catching Cas's nice scent.

"Dean, can you move so I can go?" Cas asks, amusement in his voice.

Dean feels the tips of his ears burning and steps aside. 

"Make sure you use the towels, Cas. Good towels."

Cas looks at him oddly for a moment. 

"I'll make sure to use them," Cas says then, placatingly, before closing the door.

While Dean walks back, an old lady he passes winks at him with a knowing smile. She then says: 

"I used to do that with my Charles."

Dean opens his mouth to correct her, but nothing comes out so he just stands there, balking.

"It's alright, dear, move onto your seat now. You've got a handsome young man with you, that's for sure. Make sure you spend your time well with him."

Not sure how to otherwise solve this misunderstanding, Dean finally just nods, mutters a "thank you, ma'am" and moves to his seat a few rows behind her, where he sits down and rubs his face with his hands. He's probably gonna have to get used to this, once they get to Paris. Once he explains to Cas what the whole deal is.

Once this freaking plane ride is over.

The rest of the flight is pretty uneventful. Cas shows him how to navigate the screen in front of him, and Dean is able to distract himself pretty well.

The descent is a torturous act altogether, with Dean white-knuckling the seat and humming under his breath just to calm himself down.

When Dean asks for more pills from Cas, his friend just shakes his head and tells him that it’s inadvisable to take more than two in the span of 12 hours. Seriously, what _are_ those pills?

Cas keeps throwing him worried glances but decides not to interrupt whatever madness Dean is going through, which is a wise move on his part because Dean is pretty sure that whoever dared to touch him at that moment would lose a finger.

Once they touch down, in the beautiful, clear sunset, full of fluffy clouds and red colors (not that Dean notices. But Cas took lots of pictures of it while Dean was squeezing his eyes shut) and the captain announces their landing at Paris, Charles de Gaulle Paris Airport, Dean releases a massive breath. He also peeks one of his eyes open to look outside, just to make sure they're really on the ground and that he's not dead.

"Not to sound rude, but you really need a shower," Dean hears Cas say. It's a mix between teasing and sincerity and Dean grimaces when he realizes that Cas is right.

"I need one too, though."

They go through customs and get to their baggage easy enough, and luckily enough both their suitcases arrive pretty early.

"You know, I was gonna bet that your luggage wouldn't arrive," Dean says, while they roll their suitcases over to the exit point and waiting area. "Imagine, what would you have done without the 30 books that you packed?"

"It's only 3 and they're light reading material—what would you have done without your booty shorts?" Cas asks, making Dean gasp and turn red. He didn't even think Cas had noticed him packing those.

"Shut up, we're in Europe. It's a European thing, okay?"

Right then, they finally get through to the waiting room and Dean's eyes go wide, seeing the sea of people waiting for their loved ones, family members, or business acquaintances to come out. Or Romantic Trip Winners. Which is the category Dean and Cas fall into, unbeknownst to Cas.

Thankfully, the sign that Dean finally spots is pretty normal looking, if a bit pink. Holding it is a blonde woman with dimples, who is deeply in conversation with a slightly taller woman with short brown hair.

He pretends to look around the room a bit, not willing to approach that can of worms yet, but unfortunately for him, Cas spots the sign just a couple of seconds later.

"Dean, over there," Cas says and nudges Dean.

As they approach the two women, they finally notice them and the blonde one breaks out in a friendly and very open smile.

"Heya! Are you Dean Winchester?" she asks and gestures them closer. "I'm Donna Hanscum, your travel coordinator, we spoke on the phone."

She enthusiastically shakes Dean's hand and then turns to Cas. 

"And you must be Dean's partner. Castiel?"

Cas is stunned for a moment, staring at her. He seems to get over it quickly enough, while Dean dies a little inside, and shakes Donna's hand. 

"Hello. Castiel Novak."

They get mistaken for a couple now and then (a fact that Dean totally does not dwell over) and they usually just go along with it instead of explaining their relationship to strangers. It works out well enough for them and they don't ever talk about it afterward, which suits Dean.

Donna smiles at both of them and then turns around. 

"Oh, this is Jody. She’s also helping me with the organization of your trip," Donna says and there's warmth in her voice and a certain fondness.

Jody holds her hand out and gives them a curt, 

"Pleasure to meet you both." But it's no less warm than Donna's greeting. They both balance each other out in a way, which is nice to see.

"Jody and I have lived in Paris for about 5 years now, so we know most good places. If you ever have any questions or troubles, you can phone us with this number," she hands them a card, "and we will be available for you. For now, we'll take you boys to your hotel, you must be pretty tired after your long trip." 

They start walking towards the exit of the hotel, Dean walking right behind Cas, who started having a conversation with Donna. 

Jody falls into step right beside him and smiles at him gently. "So, how long have you and Castiel been together?"

She must take his slightly panicked face as a sign of invaded privacy because she immediately adds, 

"Only if you're willing to share, of course." 

Dean laughs lightly, hoping to diffuse the situation. Jody seems to be genuinely interested and nice, not just trying to make conversation. 

"No, it's okay. Just tired, I guess. Uhm... about three years now."

"Long time then," Jody says, with a nod. "Me and Donna have been together for about six years. Would have been longer if we had gotten our heads out of our asses sooner." Jody chuckles, probably remembering those times. She looks fondly at Donna, who is still in deep conversation with Cas, who Dean looks at. They both don't notice their respective partners gazing at them.

"Yeah, uh, the same thing happened to me and Cas. We were roommates for a long time before—" Dean makes a notion with his hand, trying to express what he means by not saying it explicitly "—you know."

Jody smiles at him knowingly, and Dean feels bad about lying to her.

The car ride to the hotel is mostly awkward. Though Donna and Jody are very nice people, both Cas and Dean are too tired to really hold a conversation, so Dean tries sleeping against the window of the car, and he can see Cas doing the same on the other side.

Although Dean is dead-tired, he still can't fall asleep, too anxious thinking about the fact that this is all real. First of all, he's in Paris, which is freaky to think about all on its own, and then he also still needs to tell Cas about all the "fun romancy activities" they have planned. And now that they've met Donna and Jody, he kind of doesn't want to disappoint them and reveal that it's all a fake.

Although he's willing to do that, if Cas feels in any way uncomfortable with the situation. Dean would understand. Who would wanna fake-date him? Especially Cas, who deserves only the best, who deserves someone more stable and equally brilliant as him.

They arrive, and it only takes a second to figure out that they're in a very fancy hotel. It's so fancy that when Dean opens the trunk to get out his and Cas's suitcases, he's interrupted gently by a freaking _butler_, who takes the luggage and puts it in one of those wheely things that Dean has only ever seen in movies.

Not knowing what to do with his hands now, Dean just stands there until he gets ushered inside by Donna who winks at him and tells him to "get used to it, hon".

Donna checks in for them in fluent French and Dean looks at Cas, who is staring at the hotel's entrance hall in wonder. Which is warranted, since the whole thing is like out of a period drama. Not that Dean watches those, but Marie Antoinette was kind of good. The entrance opens up into a big courtyard with a fountain in it, sprinkling over statues of wild horses.

They gather their things—well, their backpacks, because when Dean tries to grab his suitcase, another butler appears, smiles at him, says “bonjour, monsieur” and gently rolls the big cart with their luggage on it out of his reach. It’s frankly all quite disconcerting, but Jody, Donna, and Cas make their way to the elevators without really seeming to notice that Dean is suspiciously letting his gaze linger on the people handling their stuff.

At the elevators, Donna and Jody turn to say goodbye.

"You have a good nice rest now. There's an optional dinner planned for today, but that's for you to decide, they also have excellent room-service here," Donna says, and hands them their room-cards. "You can book everything onto your room number. Oh, and at 11 am tomorrow after breakfast, we have a meeting here in the hotel lobby to discuss some logistical things for the trip.”

"Thank you, Donna, Jody," Cas says. Dean nods along with him, also giving his thanks.

"Of course, dear, it's my pleasure. Again, if you have any trouble, call us."

And with that, the two women leave them, in perfect timing with the arriving elevator.

\---

“Wow, I thought it’d be bigger and fancier,” Cas says, once they open the door.

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean says, almost breathlessly, looking around, “how dare they put us in such a shithole.”

Dean then grins at Cas and hits him in the chest. “Dude, c’mon, go in. Age before beauty and all that.”

The room is no less gorgeous and incredible than the rest of the hotel. Both men enter and take their time to gape for a second. The ceiling is high, supported by beautiful arches, and the room is kept light with cream-colored walls with delicate golden flower designs. Another source of light is a giant window, which, scratch that, is actually a big door, leading out to a small balcony. They're standing on a plush carpet, which Dean can't wait to stand on in socked or even bare feet since he's already sinking in just standing with his shoes.

The bathroom is to the right, with a big bathtub in the middle, a shower to the side, and a toilet behind a small separation wall.

Then there's the bed. A giant king-size bed, with beams that hold freaking curtains and a big, beautiful headboard with engravings.

Dean touches the sheets and it might be the softest thing he's ever touched in his life. He turns red when he sees rose-petals on the bed, spelling out: 

_Welcome Dean and Castiel_

Cas is thankfully checking out the bathroom, so Dean quickly messes up the rose-petals, but it doesn't really help the look of the whole thing. There seems to be no escape, and it's time Dean faced this whole thing dead-on.

"Dean, there's only one bed," Cas says, coming out of the bathroom.

Dean is still standing by the bed, back to Cas. 

"Yeah, I noticed."

"They seem to think we're a couple," Cas says then, and there's something careful in the way he says it. There certainly isn't disgust in his voice, but it's still something that Dean can't quite interpret and he just hopes his best friend doesn't get too angry with him.

"Yeah, Cas, I've noticed that too." Dean sits down on the bed, and holy shit that's an amazing mattress, he probably won't be able to stand up again. "Listen, Cas, I gotta tell you something."

Cas just looks at him, with wide eyes. He looks nervous for some reason.

"Dean, if you're uncomfortable with this, we can change rooms and I fully understand—"

"What? No. What?" Dean didn't even know he could have such a range of intonations. Cas looks confused. "No—that's that thing I wanted to say. I knew they were gonna put us in this... type of room." Dean gestures vaguely at the bed.

Now Cas looks at him like Dean's trying to explain the different types of motor-oil to him.

"... I don't understand," Cas says slowly. "You knew they were going to put us in a room with one bed, and you didn't clear it up? Donna, and Jody for that matter, seemed so nice, I'm sure we can ask them for a change—"

"It's a romantic trip," Dean blurts out. "It's a romantic trip, meant for couples in a romantic romancy relationship and I won it, but I- I had just broken up with Lisa, and-"

Cas's eyes go wide.

"Oh, so you wanted to go with Lisa? To reconcile? Dean, I'm so sorry—I apologize for pushing myself onto you. I'm sure this would have been a great trip if she—"

"Shut up, Cas," Dean whispers, pained. He takes a breath. "No, Cas, I didn't want to take Lisa."

Cas gingerly sits down next to him, on the bed, at a safe distance. He’s obviously surprised at the softness of the mattress and duvet, losing balance for a moment, and the startled look on his face makes Dean let out a small laugh. Cas glares at him.

"So what, you wanted to take... me?" Cas finally says.

Dean needs to consider, put thought into his next words, which usually spill out so effortlessly.

"Yeah... uh..." 

Wow, yes, very eloquent.

"So, when I won, I kind of thought of you because, well... you always wanted to travel to Europe and you work so hard all the time, you really deserve something nice," Dean says. He can't really look at Cas. "The fact that it's a romantic trip—I mean, I didn't even really process that." Bullshit. "I just thought of having a nice trip with you, my best friend. We talked about that, right? Having a road trip one day? I mean, I guess this isn't a road trip, really, I mean it _can_ be, apparently, we have a driver, so—"

"Dean?"

Dean stops rambling, kind of glad for the interruption, and clears his throat.

"Yeah?" 

"Thank you. But also, I'm really tired, so what do you say we take a nap and maybe discuss this tomorrow?”

Never let it be said that Cas isn't one for incredible ideas. Which is what Dean expresses in a nod and a pat on Cas's back. He can't help but make it softer than he intended, but he blames that on being tired.

"Okay. Okay, Cas, I'll just—" Dean says, and gestures to the bathroom.

"You do that."

They both change out of their traveling clothes into a pair of soft sweatpants and a t-shirt.

They’re both not really hungry, but order some sandwiches for room service to get something in their stomachs before they go to sleep. Dean is still feeling a little queasy from the flight and only manages to eat one half of his sandwich, letting Cas eat the rest. He quickly showers and comes back out and lets Cas know that the bathroom is free now. 

Just before Cas enters the bathroom, Dean holds him back.

“How should we do the bed thing?”

Cas frowns at him. “The bed thing? I mean, I suppose we sleep in it.”

“No, I mean—should I—should we do the head to feet sleeping position? So, you know. It’s less weird?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Cas just says, in a tone that implies that Dean is being ridiculous, and goes into the bathroom, locking the door after him.

Well. That’s settled, then.

When Cas comes out of the bathroom, Dean pretends to already be half asleep. It isn't really difficult considering how tired he actually is.

He feels more than sees Cas settle in next to him, and suddenly he is very aware of the fact that they're sharing a bed, and that it's Cas he’s sharing a bed with. His heart starts beating faster, he can feel it going in his chest to the point where he's afraid Cas might hear it.

"This isn't weird, right? I mean. It's just like a sleepover, right?" Dean whispers.

Cas just hums, already almost asleep.

Dean turns around then, staring at the other wall, trying not to freak out. This is cool, this is fine, he has shared a bed with Sam many times when they were kids, this is no different. Except it's Cas, so obviously it's different.

But even with his panicked thoughts and racing heart, eventually, Dean lets himself calm down with the help of Cas's steady breaths behind him. In the end, after what feels like hours of not being able to fall asleep (but is actually only about 15 minutes) he finally drifts off.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean wakes up at around 8am, ready to go. Because of jetlag and going to sleep early, he's fully awake and decides to check out the breakfast bar.

He looks back at Cas, who is still in bed, face smooshed in the pillows, lying on his stomach and looking incredibly comfortable and very deeply asleep. Dean wants to stand there and watch him some more, but decides that it's probably creepy.

After a quick shower, his stomach is growling pretty loudly and he finally goes downstairs to the breakfast area. Which is incredible. His heart sparks when he sees the many types of pastries and even the fruit looks incredibly appetizing. He grabs two coffees, one black, one with milk and sugar, and returns to their room to go fetch Cas.

When he goes in, Cas is still in bed—in a different position this time, which is in the middle of the bed, sheets tangled in some inconceivable way around him and arms splayed out. Dean sets his coffee down and silently goes to the bed with Cas's coffee still in his hand. He then holds it close to his face, hoping that the coffee fumes will wake Cas up. And they do. Cas's eyes twitch and then, slowly, one eye opens.

"Good morning, sunshine," Dean says, teasing, but a little too gently.

"Coffee?" Cas croaks into the pillow.

Dean just holds the mug in his eyesight and Cas hums, pleased, and sits up to receive his life potion in both his hands. Then he sits, eyes closed, sighing into his coffee and looking incredibly adorable.

Dean walks back to the desk and picks up his own coffee to take a sip.

"Dude, the breakfast here is _insane_."

"Ah, that's where you went," Cas says, eyes still more closed than open, sipping on his coffee.

"I had to get the coffees somewhere."

"Oh, yes. Thank you, Dean."

They sit in silence for a bit before Dean gets antsy again.

"C'mon, Cas, finish up so we can go eat. Seriously, they have croissants. Like—_real_ croissants."

"Well, we _are_ in France."

"Shut it and finish up. I gotta go brush my teeth," Dean says. It's mostly also an excuse to get away from Cas because he really can't keep looking at him all soft and sleepy. It does weird things to his stomach, which is still pitifully empty.

They finally get to breakfast, Cas a little grumpy about Dean rushing him.

Dean starts stacking his plate with as much food as he can fit on it, while Cas looks for a table for both of them. When Dean finally finishes, his eyes on the sweeter things he's planning on having as "dessert" (is breakfast-dessert even a thing? It totally should be a thing, Dean decides), he finds Cas in a corner booth, nursing a second coffee.

"Cas, look," Dean says, and proudly showcases his filled-up plate.

"I see you brought me stuff as well, how thoughtful of you."

"... I guess you could have one of my mini-croissants. And here, some extra jam—"

"I was just teasing, Dean, I'm getting my own food. Enjoy your—I don't even want to call this breakfast. King's meal?"

Dean stuffs some scrambled eggs in his mouth, slightly embarrassed that he had thought Cas was serious.

"Besides, you deserve some good breakfast you didn't have to make yourself," Cas adds, standing up from the table. “When I do it I always burn it.” He leaves before Dean can say anything reassuring about his breakfast-making skills, because they both know it would be a lie to defend them.

After a while, Cas returns with fruit and oatmeal in some yogurt and even Dean has to admit that it looks delicious, even though he thinks it's a big waste of all the other choices—an opinion he voices to Cas, who just counters with the reasoned fact that they're going to be eating breakfast here for a whole week.

This Dean hadn't really taken into account, and he eyes the two pastries he took with sorrow. His stomach is pretty full, but he also feels so bad. Is it weird that he feels sorry for a pastry?

Cas can see him struggling and takes pity on him, grabbing one pastry from his plate and stuffing it in his mouth and humming appreciatively.

"I told you it was good," Dean says weakly, but both of them know that he has been defeated, and Cas just grins at him, mouth full of pastry.

After breakfast, they get ready in their room for the meeting. Dean is tense all over again while they both get ready, and finally Cas turns to him and waits patiently until Dean finally looks at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just my stomach... a bit too much...” He vaguely gestures at his stomach blowing up and Cas just looks at him, one eyebrow raised. They both know that they have to address the whole mistaken-boyfriend thing but Dean doesn’t relent at first, revelling in the moment where all of this isn’t his current situation.

Just before Cas turns away to walk to the door, Dean stops Cas with a hand on his shoulder.

"What if we just… don't say anything," Dean says tentatively.

"What do you mean?"

"You know—if you're okay with it—I mean—what if we just go along with the whole boyfriend thing? Pretend to be together to make it easier? I mean, they don't need to know that we're not actually together, right?" Dean laughs nervously. "And I mean, we can just do the things they planned as friends, they don't need to know, but just for the time being, we could—" Dean makes some gesture with his hands. He doesn't really know what he'll do if Cas says no. If Cas is so completely disgusted by the thought of even _pretending_ to be with Dean in front of other people, letting other people see him with someone so far below his league.

It doesn't help that Cas is looking at him contemplatively, something sad in his eyes. He then clears his throat and looks to the floor. "Sure, Dean, we can do that."

Dean sighs in relief but can also feel his heart bumping louder, because this is happening right now, and all real. But Cas doesn't seem to be too happy about it and Dean should have known and he feels kind of bad for dragging Cas into this whole mess.

They go to the elevator and once inside, Dean turns to look at Cas. "You know we don't _have_ to, I mean, if you're too uncomfortable with this—"

As an answer, Cas simply takes Dean's hand in his, interlocking their fingers. 

"We're doing this."

Dean takes a shuddery breath because holy shit, he's holding Cas's hand. His whole arm starts to tingle and Cas's hand fits just right in his, warm, dry and strong and Dean hopes that he doesn't ruin it by getting sweaty palms.

* * *

The elevator tings and they step out together, already seeing Donna and Jody sitting on one of the couches around a coffee table in the lobby. Sitting with them is a man, laughing loudly with a champagne glass in his hand. He's wearing a white V-neck with a suit jacket over it. 

Donna sees them and immediately stands up, the smile on her face inviting and sunny.

"Good morning," she says, and gestures for them to sit down. "This is Balthazar. Since you're here as the winner of our trip—congratulations again, by the way—we have Balthazar here as a photographer to document your romantic journey through Paris. The pictures will be for our magazine and commercial purposes."

"Pleasure to meet you both." Balthazar reaches over to shake their hands. While shaking Cas's hand, he unnecessarily winks at him. At least, Dean thinks it's unnecessary, but Cas just blushes a bit—which, hello, fake boyfriend or not, he is right there.

Donna takes the time to grab some papers out of her bag and presents them on the table. “These are just forms to sign for you, to consent to the public distribution of your pictures. You will, of course, receive the pictures beforehand and we won't publish any that don't get your stamp of approval, but don't worry—Balthazar does really good work and makes everyone look beautiful."

"Some people are just naturally stunning," Balthazar says, clearly eyeing Cas, but then also gesturing to everyone else in their group. "Beautiful people all around."

Donna just laughs when Balthazar winks at her, apparently used to his overly flirty behaviors. Jody whispers something in her ear and lightly kisses her on the cheek, which makes Donna blush but also smile bashfully. Their easy display of affection makes Dean feel all warm inside.

It makes him look at Cas, who is carefully reading through the presented paper. He imagines leaning over and kissing his cheek—just because. It makes his heart flutter and he shifts closer to Cas in the pretence of reaching for the pens.

Donna quickly and concisely explains their schedules, and that Balthazar will be joining them in most activities planned for them, just to be in the background, taking pictures. 

“Just act natural, the way you always do when around each other. And enjoy your stay here,” she says, smiling at both of them. She then sincerely adds, “I hope you have a wonderful time.”

\---

They spend their first real afternoon in Paris in a museum. What gives. Dean thought it was going to be boring, just like those trips to the natural history museum back when he was in school, where Mrs. Nilly took them and chose probably the most condescending of all guides to do a tour through the exhibits. The only thing Dean really remembers is a giant skeleton of an elk and thinking that the vending machine was part of the exhibition when the guide forbade the students from touching it (she was also quite mean about it when he asked about when vending machines were invented and refused to answer him, brushing it off as a silly question. He googled it later in life, the question still bothering him, and it was 1883—though it was a postcard dispenser, so not nearly as exciting as candy).

This is nothing like that school trip. For one, Dean is now an adult with a healthy appreciation for history and culture, and an attention span that lasts longer than two minutes; another thing that helps is that he’s with Cas. While walking around the museum, they start pretending to be high-end art-critics, traveling from their world-renowned art gallery on a mission to add another terrible piece of art to their ever-growing collection.

At one point, they're laughing so hard in front of a picture of a very badly drawn lion, that an employee hurries over and politely tells them to please respect the premises and the art, which sends them into another fit and Dean actually has to wipe tears from his eyes.

To calm down, they sit on one of the benches, and the staff member eyes them carefully, probably considering whether he can throw out the uncultured Americans. A thought which makes Dean giggle all over again, but this time he presses it into the back of his hand. He looks over at Cas, who is biting his lip, trying to suppress his own laughter, but his eyes still shine with it.

He suddenly hears a camera shutter go off very close to his head and he turns and sees Balthazar. While it was quite awkward in the beginning, Balthazar had really done an incredible job with keeping in the background and blending into the crowd, so Dean actually forgot all about him. Which is impressive for a man with seemingly such a huge ego.

Yearning to be close to Cas, and realizing that for once it's kind of encouraged, Dean puts his arm around Cas and leans his forehead on his shoulder, and releases a breath, closing his eyes. He feels Cas tense underneath him, but then he also relaxes his shoulders and they sit there in silence for a bit.

"Man, my stomach hurts," Dean says after a while, sitting back up. "I don't think I've laughed that hard in a while."

Cas hums contentedly, letting his eyes wander over the walls covered in paintings. He then turns to look at Dean, smile still on his face. "Thank you for taking me, Dean. Again. This is amazing, I owe you."

"Nah man, you don't owe me anything. You do enough. Just being there for me is enough." Dean blushes and wants to take it back, but it's also nice to say what he means for once, although it hurts to know that Cas will never see him as more than a friend.

He feels Cas take his hand and he flinches, face getting hotter, but then he remembers that Balthazar is right there, taking pictures, and Cas probably just wanted to give him some material to work with. It doesn't change the fact that the squeeze Cas gives him is reassuring and just for him.

* * *

\---

They get a little bit of time off after the museum, exploring the streets around the area. Balthazar left them for his own break, so Dean and Cas wander around, almost aimlessly.

The area is beautiful, with cobblestoned streets and old buildings and busy bars. Everywhere around them, people are talking, walking down the street, and it's odd not to understand a word.

Dean never even realized how much he picked up from people around him from listening to them talk, until coming to a foreign country. Cas seems to revel in it too, the two of them walking down the street in comfortable silence, or at least not talking, taking in the noise and atmosphere around them.

They stop at a group of old men playing a ball game in the sand of a park. They're all wearing suspenders and hats, some of them even smoking pipes.

"Do they know we're not in the 19th century anymore?" Dean stage-whispers to Cas.

"'ey, American boy!" Dean looks up sharply and sees one of the men waving him over. "I need one more for my team. You play, oui?"

And that's how Dean gets roped into playing _boules,_ a weird French ball game_, _withCas watching him in amusement from the sidelines. He even takes some pictures on his phone and then a video of Dean trying to argue with a man who barely spoke any English, that his ball was closer to the small target ball.

Dean later sends the video to Charlie, who sends back a line of emojis and a ‘_I see you’re already making friends’._

\---

For the evening, they have their first fancy wine restaurant on the list. They actually have to wear suit jackets and white button-ups, and Dean feels incredibly out of place just looking at the restaurant from the outside.

Balthazar joins them again but has a separate table set up, close enough to theirs so he can still get pictures. 

They get seated by a waiter wearing a tux and bow tie, with impeccable English.

Their appetizers get served almost immediately after sitting down and Dean wants to hold the waiter back, telling him that they didn't order it, but Cas holds down his arm before he can do so.

"What even is that?" Dean asks, poking one of the blobs with a finger.

"Escargots." 

The bored voice comes from the table next to them, from Balthazar, who goes back to his own appetizer and wine—how did he even get that so quickly?

Deans sends an incredulous but also questioning look Cas's way.

"I believe they're snails," Cas says, and carefully picks one up with a small spoon that arrived with the appetizer. Dean watches him chew it, waiting any moment for Cas to make a face or spit it back out. The only thing he can really think about is that scene from Harry Potter (they had a Harry Potter marathon together with Charlie, Jo, and Cas earlier that year) where one of the characters is put under the spell to Eat Slugs, so this meal doesn't look particularly appetizing.

He tries one anyway after Cas says they're a French delicacy, and—not so bad. Apart from the consistency, which, while not too pleasant, is way less slimy and squishy than expected, they actually just taste like the basil and garlic sauce they were served in, so not too bad.

Still, Dean feels way out of his depth. When the waiter finally comes to take their orders, Dean is still trying to dissect what half the dishes even mean (he at first thought that the waiter had given him a French menu, until he saw the salad part). He looks up at Cas with pleading eyes, and Cas orders for both of them.

When the waiter also asks for a wine to go with the meal, Cas just kindly asks for the house recommendation.

Dean is sweating. This is not a place where he should be. It’s not often at this point in life that Dean feels unwelcome or uncomfortable in a place. That was a thing he worked on all his life, back when he was the new kid at school so many times; he finally learned how to adapt and just be proud of himself in any environment.

This is not at all like a new school. This was a completely different class of _people_.

The one thing that bothers him most though, is the fact that he’s with Cas and he’s uncomfortable. He’s spent so much time with Cas at this point in life, that he’s a constant and a comfort. It’s easy to be with him, spend time with him anywhere, and Dean always feels as though he belongs—at least with one person. Being in this environment, with Cas, and not really enjoying himself as a person, feeling like he can’t just be himself, bothers him to no end, and makes his skin crawl a little.

But he fights through it. This is a nice evening for them, especially Cas, and he doesn’t want to ruin it. 

That's why, when the main course arrives, and with it the wine, in a fancy cooler, he smiles at Cas and gently clinks their glasses together.

"To us in Paris, and terrible art."

Cas smiles back gently. 

"To us in Paris, and terrible art. And Balthazar." He turns to Balthazar, who also raises his glass in their direction after taking a picture and nods at him.

Dean must admit, the food isn't too bad. It's definitely unusual in taste and he doesn't really know how to eat one of the vegetables, so he just leaves it, but overall it's okay, though nowhere near as fulfilling as a good burger.

After the waiter takes their plates, Cas conspiratorially leans over the table. On the way, he almost knocks over the candle on the table, which Dean grabs with reflexes he acquired from years of being around Sam who knocks over everything that is slightly loose, fragile, and in his vicinity.

“Oh.” Cas lets out a relieved little laugh. “I’m glad I didn’t accidentally set the whole restaurant on fire. Thank you.”

He looks around again, and then he leans over, carefully eyeing the candle this time.

"Not that I didn't enjoy this meal and the atmosphere and the candles—all of it really, but—" Dean starts sweating. Now Cas is going to say what he really thinks. That all of this is wrong, that it's weird that Dean went with him to such a fancy place, that he ate the food with the wrong cutlery and it was atrocious, and— “What do you think about maybe getting some street food after this? I really need something fatty."

Well, Dean didn't expect that. He looks at Cas, his blue eyes sincere and beautiful in the dim light, the candle lighting up and accentuating his cheekbones and jawline in a way that makes Dean's fingers itch to touch, to caress, to do _something_.

So Dean just leans forward, closer to Cas's face and grins. "Hell, yeah."

\---

They pay the bill with the money Donna gave them, leaving a generous tip. 

Before they can hightail out of there, Balthazar clears his throat. 

“Sorry boys, just a few more shots for the camera and then you’re done for the night.”

Nervously, Dean exchanges a look with Cas, and then holds out his hand on the table. Cas takes it. He then gazes into his eyes, trying his best to look put-on in love. Cas is also doing some kind of… face. 

“You both look constipated,” Balthazar says, face still behind the camera. Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Cas raises his eyebrows at him and shakes his head a little. Cas then looks down at their hands and starts stroking Dean’s thumb lightly and Dean can feel his ears burning, meaning he’s probably going red.

In the meantime, Dean can silently hear the shutter going off in the background and he can’t help but let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Dude, we have like… our own paparazzi,” Dean says.

“It’s paparazz_o_,” Cas says, smiling, while Balthazar lets out an offended “Hey!” and some mutters about being much more respectable than a paparazzo.

It generally lightens the mood again, the heavy atmosphere leaving them and they finally stand up from their table after making sure with Balthazar that they’re fine for tonight. The photographer just waves them off.

They return to the hotel not long after leaving the restaurant. Since it was pretty late already, and they were in a fancy part of the city, they couldn't really find street food easily, so they just went to the nearest supermarket and grabbed some snacks.

Back in their room, Dean cries out in victory, as Cas lands another one of the gummies in his mouth. Dean is currently sitting in a very plushy chair by the window, and Cas is lying on his stomach on their bed, reading. Or rather, throwing gummies into Dean's open mouth while holding a book.

Dean catches the next gummy bear that Cas throws at him in his hand and throws it back.

Cas catches it right out of the air—which is weirdly hot—and eats it. 

"Is the great Dean Winchester defeated?"

Dean just wheezes as he leans back into the two great cushions and rubs his stomach. "Tummy time."

Cas chuckles and goes on to actually read his book, the _Evolution of Minorities’ Slang in France._ They sit in silence for a while, Dean dozing a bit to the sound of the occasional turning page.

After Dean's stomach stops trying to stab him every time he moves, he gets up with an over-exaggerated groan that Cas doesn't even react to and goes to check the itinerary.

"It says here we have a croissant-making class tomorrow. Sweet." Dean goes over the bed and slaps Cas's hip lightly to get him to scoot over. Dean smiles at the back of Cas's head while he does a very cute full-body shuffle and settles in next to him. "It's at one, so I guess we'll have a bit of free time in the morning. What do ya wanna do?"

"Oh!" Cas exclaims and reaches for his phone on the nightstand. Dean totally does not stare at the sliver of exposed hipbone he gets to see because of this.

Cas pulls up the note section of his phone. "I don’t think Notre Dame is on our itinerary, but I’d love to visit it—if that's alright with you, I think it could be very interesting. Unless you have other ideas?"

"Nah man, it's cool. Let's do that," Dean replies. "We should definitely get crepes for lunch, though."

"We're making croissants in the afternoon."

"So?"

"... point taken."

They get ready for bed, and Dean is somehow even more nervous to be sleeping in bed with Cas than the previous night. He returns to the bathroom again, deciding to take a shower to maybe calm himself down a bit. It’s also just in case Cas falls asleep while he showers, so that Dean won’t have to deal with him being awake while having an embarrassing nervous breakdown.

He returns to bed, and Cas seems like he's asleep, so Dean quietly shimmies under the covers and switches off the bedside lamp.

Cas mutters something under his breath, but when Dean stills and looks at him, he doesn't say more, so he's probably just dreaming. Dean lies down fully and lets out a deep breath.

So much has been happening that he hasn't even had time to fully digest it, to really take it in. He looks over at Cas again and lets his thoughts wander.

The last time he was sleeping in bed with someone, it was with Lisa. She was amazing and nice and funny. She didn't even mind him being a cuddler, but it never felt quite right. He always thought he loved her. He must have, because why else would you be in a relationship with someone for 7 months? But it all fell apart slowly but surely, and they started to grow more and more distant. It all escalated one evening when Lisa accused him of not being present in their relationship, of not being emotionally available. Back at the time, he had argued, said that that's not true, that he stayed over at her place more than in his own apartment, and Lisa had gone quiet. _"That's not what I mean, Dean,"_ she had said. _"When you're here, you want to be somewhere else, maybe even with someone else."_

Dean's heart broke, and he wanted to say _"No, Lis, you're the one, I love you" _but he knew it would have been a lie. Or at least only half-true. Because he did truly care for her, and he tried to show her that in the way he hugged her then. He buried his face in her hair one last time and whispered a broken, _"I'm sorry." _

She had just replied, "_I know_", and hugged him tighter.

He now looks at Cas and his heart speeds up. His fingers twitch and they long for touch like they never quite did for Lisa. He desperately wants to lie in somebody's arms again and be held. He wants to bury his face in Cas's neck and hold him tight, but also just gently cuddle the fuck out of him. To be fair, he also just really wants to see how it felt to be spooned by someone equally as large as him. Just a few weeks ago, he had totally considered buying a giant teddy bear on Amazon, but then relented because he didn't have the excuse of having a girlfriend anymore and it would have just looked like a sad single dude buying a giant teddy for himself.

When Dean finally falls asleep, he dreams of blue eyes, warmth and contentment, all in one. It's one of those dreams that leave one feeling well-rested and fulfilled, even though it's difficult to really remember the content of the dream.

\---

Waking up, Dean feels that contentment through his whole body and it makes him smile even before opening his eyes. 

There's something heavy on his chest, not uncomfortable, but rather a soothing weight that fits right in, and he uses one leg to shift closer and to bring them more together.

He rests for a couple more seconds before he thinks about what that weight might be, which jerks him right out of his sleepy haze and he opens his eyes wide. He peeks down and yes, that is Cas, right there, using his chest and arm as a pillow. Dean's other arm is firmly wrapped around Cas' waist, which is soft in sleep but also solid with underlying muscle. Their legs are tangled together with the blanket, and Dean just really, really needs to get up before he loses his goddamn mind. He also needs to pee.

Dean gently tries to untangle himself. Cas suddenly sighs deeply and buries his head further into Dean's shoulder and neck, and feeling the hot breath on his exposed skin sends shivers down Dean's spine.

He suddenly decides that there is absolutely no way he can handle Cas waking up now and moving away from him, so it's essential that he gets away first, no matter how incredibly comfortable their position is. His bladder is also still announcing its presence.

So Dean takes a deep breath, taking it all in, and then slowly retracts his arm from underneath Cas, and shuffles away, towards the edge of the mattress. The problem is that he is still watching Cas while doing so to make sure his best friend stays asleep, and totally miscalculates the distance, and—

There is a large _phomp_ and suddenly Dean is on the ground, on his back, shoulders first, his feet still tangled in the sheets on the bed. It's an incredibly uncomfortable position and Dean has never in his life been so grateful for plush carpet.

He takes a few seconds to get over the shock of falling and also the embarrassment of it, and then starts to tuck his legs back, hoping that his feet somehow came free during his fall. His movement is interrupted by a face appearing over the side of the bed. A very rumpled and squinty face. Cas has a damn pillow mark on his cheek.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Cas asks after a second of just looking at Dean, probably taking it all in. His voice is sleep-riddled and deep because of it and Dean has to swallow. This feels so much worse than a walk of shame. A fall of shame, if you will.

"—uhhh. Going to the bathroom?"

Cas frowns. "Are you asking me?"

"No?"

Cas groans and Dean can hear him flopping back onto the bed. "Just―go and come back with coffee," Cas says, voice slightly muffled, probably from a pillow. "Please," he adds.

So Dean gets himself together, and does just that.

Breakfast is much like the previous day, though Dean manages to moderate his plate a bit better, so that he can actually manage to eat everything (okay, the mini-pie in the end was a bit of a stretch, but Dean really ate it out of spite, so it’s better).

They head out soon after. Dean tries to insist on taking their driver but Cas just looks at him.

"Dean, it's a 15-minute walk from here."

So they walk out and Dean must admit that it's a beautiful walk. The streets surprisingly aren't too busy and the sun is shining. Cas is looking at him, smiling.

Dean pretends not to notice at first but then relents. 

"What?"

Cas looks away, startled.

"Am I gettin' a sunburn? Ah shit, I forgot to put on sunscreen. Did you put on any?"

"You're not getting a sunburn, Dean," Cas says. "I was thinking about... our plans."

"Plans?"

"About our pretend relationship."

"Ah, so you were thinking about how they would believe how you ended up with my sexy ass?" Dean grins.

To Dean's surprise, Cas blushes a bit and looks away.

"Oh my god, Cas, I was joking. They can obviously see that you're way out of my league," Dean laughs.

That makes Cas look at him sharply and then frown. 

"What do you mean by that?"

“You know… you’re an academic. Almost a doctor and shit. And I’m just a mechanic with a G.E.D. and Charlie once called me a himbo. Still not exactly sure what that means, but―”

Cas interrupts him with a sigh and then says, 

“You’re not a himbo. And Dean, just because you didn’t take the same educational path as me doesn't in any way devalue you. It might even mean you’re smarter, because you didn't have to pay a fortune. Besides, you were taking care of your brother at that time—what you did was remarkable―"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I just did what I had to do," Dean says. He wasn't prepared to have such an existential conversation at that moment, in the middle of the street in Paris.

"Nevertheless, it turned you into a very impressive and kind man who is definitely no less intelligent than me," Cas says with conviction.

Now it's Dean's turn to blush, and he looks away to blink away the tears that might have gathered. He clears his throat. "Yeah, okay, but you're pretty cool yourself."

"Thank you, Dean. Remember that next time you call me a nerd," Cas says and when Dean turns to look at him, he's looking at him with a small smile and a softness in his eyes. 

Dean laughs. “Shut up. You’re still a nerd. But like… a cool nerd.”

Cas gasps in an exaggerated way and puts a hand on his chest. “Dean Winchester called me a cool nerd. Oh! We’ll have to alert the media!” 

Dean shoves him, while Cas laughs. Dean also can’t help but grin.

They get to Notre Dame just a few minutes later. There, they both walk around the building in awe, gazing at the gargoyles and spikes. Well, Dean mostly looks at the gargoyles because the grotesque-looking stone-dragons kind of creep him out.

They try to inconspicuously join one of the guided tours of the place, and they listen to the tour guide explaining gothic architecture for about 5 minutes before they get ushered away by a very stern-looking elderly tourist in a Hawaiian shirt.

Cas takes a few pictures and even convinces Dean to take a selfie with him. After failing miserably to find a good angle, they ask a bystander to take a picture of them in front of the famous stained-glass window.

After looking at all the plaques inside the church, Cas says he’s satisfied with the pictures he took; they find an adjacent crepes restaurant and share a savory crepe. It takes them some time to decide what to get for dessert, to the point where they barely make it on time to their appointment at the little bakery-shop. 

Balthazar is there already waiting for them, chatting in French with someone who has to be the pastry chef.

The man, who looks like he comes from every commercial about bakeries ever—sans maybe a mustache—introduces himself as Monsieur Jean in a thick French accent. Dean replies with his best version of “bonjour”.

This is drowned out, however, by another couple arriving. He can hear they're American since they're still talking to each other when arriving. Well, more like arguing loudly about directions, which gets promptly cut off when the girl pointedly points to the sign above their heads and the guy flusters and stops fumbling around with his phone, which Dean can see still shows Google Maps. They're a pretty young couple, Asian-American from what he can tell (even though he wouldn't want to assume anything, he's learnt a lesson or two from a few experiences).

Dean must admit that he stares a bit when the young man turns to the chef and greets him in what sounds like fluent French. The woman, meanwhile, turns to look at Dean, Cas, and Balthazar.

"We're at the right place, right? Croissant making for beginners? Rue la Boétie?" she says, hopeful. She turns to her partner before they can make a sound and taps him on the shoulder. "Kevin, are we at the right place?"

"Excuse-moi, monsieur," the young man says to the chef, and looks to her. "Yes, we're at the right place."

"Oh thank you, gods," she says, and promptly sits down on one of the chairs that's in front of the bakery.

Kevin looks at the remaining group of people and clears his throat, clearly embarrassed by being at the center of attention. "You'll have to excuse us, we've been walking for about 3 hours now. We wanted to be early but got lost. I'm Kevin and this is my girlfriend—" he gestures at the young woman, who is slumped in the chair and gives a half-hearted wave. "—Channing."

"—yes, Channing."

Dean holds out a hand to Kevin. "Hi, I'm Dean. And this is my… boyfriend. Cas."

It’s still weird to say it, but he can't deny that he wasn't practicing the sentence in his head the entire time Kevin was talking. Saying it out loud still feels a bit shaky though.

"Alright, then," Balthazar interrupts the slightly awkward silence. "Do we want to get this party started?"

The pastry chef ushers them in with a friendly smile and the group enters the bakery one after the other. Balthazar is first to enter and takes pictures of them entering and looking at the bakery. Overall, it's a cozy place. The dim light illuminates the cushiony chairs around four small tables that create a homey atmosphere. There are some pictures hung up on the wall that look like they're the bakery in different stages over the year and different staff members.

The smell also slowly wafts into all of their noses and although Dean literally just had lunch, the delicious scent of freshly baked goods makes his mouth water. 

The pastry chef shows them the way to the kitchen in the back behind the counter. Cas has to nudge Dean a couple of times, who has stopped to look at the pastries and pies that stacked in the display cases. Dean wonders if they will maybe have time later to buy some of the delicious looking eclairs. 

Cas only manages to move Dean by interlacing their hands and pulling him into the kitchen. Because the contact is still so intense and startling, Dean forgets to resist.

The kitchen is quite small but there are two tables set up with aprons and tools.

Kevin and Channing already claimed one of the tables, so that leaves Dean and Cas to the left, closer to the hanging pots and oven.

Cas, who hasn't spent much time in the kitchen, eyes them carefully and slides to the further side of the table, putting Dean between himself and the danger. Dean barely suppresses a laugh.

"Bonjour messieurs and madame, my name is Jean, and I will be teaching you how to make the croissants!"

This was like being back in school—but this time with some skills under his belt, and Dean is so ready.

"Please put on your aprons," the chef says. He has quite a thick French accent, but it makes the whole experience just that much better.

Before he can tie his own apron, he feels Cas's fingers taking the cloth from him his hands and tying it for him. He then turns Dean around by his shoulders. "Can you tie mine?"

"I knew it. You just did that so I would tie your apron without questions."

Cas shrugs his shoulders. "You're not asking questions either way. I am very bad at tying things behind my back. I can barely wrap gifts." Dean doesn't even really listen but turns Cas around to tie his apron. He takes the moment to let his hands linger on Cas's back.

"They're cute together, but wow they're grouchy," Dean suddenly hears. Channing clearly didn't intend for it to be overheard, since she murmured it into Kevin's ear, but the space is small and even though Dean is apparently old and grouchy, he still heard it.

He decides in that split second that this is his chance. He's doing this to prove a point, so it's okay. Once he finishes tying Cas’s apron he pointedly kisses the back of his neck and loudly proclaims, 

"There you go, sweetheart," and turns away to the table to hide his burning face. Cas also seems a bit startled and turns around slowly.

“Thank you, Dean," he finally answers in a wobbly way. But it's so subtle that only Dean picks up on it. He glances at the other pair and especially Channing, who looks a bit sheepish.

* * *

The pastry chef, meanwhile, has started by arranging his ingredients. He claps his hands together in a _let's get this started_ type of way and says, 

"Bon."

He goes through it very quickly. It's clear that the man is an expert, though he doesn't really know a lot of English. But that doesn't deter him from explaining everything with a lot of gestures and sounds. Dean gives a glance to Cas, who is intently focused on the process, squinting his eyes sometimes while seemingly taking intense mental notes.

He looks over at the other couple, where Kevin is actually taking notes with a ferociousness that’s a little frightening. Great, he's surrounded by scholars.

Not that Dean is a master baker or anything, but he likes to do things with feeling. He usually relies on his instincts telling him what seems right in the moment, and it’s helped him bake some pretty damn good pies so he's not too worried about paying exact attention to the last detail of what the pastry chef is doing. But being around the others makes him doubt himself a bit, and he carefully tunes into the lesson again.

Soon enough, Jean has his dough spread in an even rectangle on his baking tray. He looks up at the participants. 

"Now you go!" he exclaims cheerfully.

Hell breaks loose. Cas and Channing both reach for the flour at the same time, knocking it over and coating them both, but mostly Channing in the fine white powder. While Cas starts apologizing profusely, Dean manages to actually grab the flour and quickly spreads it across their work surface, and uses the measuring cup to pour out the amount they need for their croissants. He then puts it in the big bowl.

Just as he puts it down, Kevin snags it, reaching over his girlfriend who is still trying to wipe the flour out of her eyes using a cloth that Cas found somewhere. Dean looks up and he sees Jean staring at them in mild terror. Dean smiles at him like everything is fine. Balthazar is taking pictures like his life depends on it.

With the little flour-crisis mostly averted, Cas turns back to Dean, who slides him the scale and the big slab of butter.

"Here, measure 60 grams, I'll get the milk," Dean says. He's all business now, confident in his abilities.

“What?" Cas says, the panic in his voice only partially faked. "How am I meant to figure out how much 60 grams is? Do I have to do math? I was told there would be no math. Wait, how do you even know it's 60 grams?"

Dean walks back over to Cas and gently pries the bowl out of Cas's hands and puts it on the scale and calibrates it to show zero. He then also holds up a piece of paper with all the measurements and instructions on it, which Cas must have overseen.

"There. Now you can put the butter in."

"Oh," Cas says. He sounds a bit embarrassed and Dean suddenly feels a bit bad.

"It's okay, Cas, we'll figure this out together." Dean starts brushing away some of the flour on Cas's shoulder and he moves his hand up to Cas's face to wipe away a smudge there.

The tender moment is interrupted by a loud French curse and Dean rips his hand away from Cas's face. He looks to the source of the sound and sees Balthazar sheepishly moving down from a countertop, from which he had been apparently taking pictures.

The pastry chef is muttering things about imbeciles ruining his kitchen and then turns a threatening finger towards Balthazar, who has the decency to look reprimanded. 

"If you ever dare to do that again, I will 'ave you out of this place so quickly, you will lose your fingers, English Boy. I will banish you."

A very odd threat, but Dean feels the energy and sincerity of the statement and he just manages to suppress a wince on Balthazar's behalf. The photographer and the pastry chef look at each other, sizing the other up. The moment is interrupted by Kevin.

"Sorry Dean, can you please hand me the butter?" he carefully asks, voice a bit louder than necessary.

Realizing that Kevin is trying to de-escalate the situation this way, Dean takes up the thread.

"Sure, Kev, here you go.”

From then on, everything seems to be going smoothly. The chef mostly keeps an eye on Balthazar, who now moves around more gingerly, but also checks with Jean on every step he takes in an almost mocking way. The baker just looks at him in a very angry French way. Dude’s got some balls, Dean thinks. They finish up making the dough and Cas only fusses around a little bit to make the shape a perfect rectangle on the tray.

Dean raises a hand for a high-five.

"Good team-work, Cas."

What he doesn't expect is for Cas to, instead of high-fiving him, interlace his fingers with Dean and use it as leverage to lean forward to give Dean a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, Dean. Wonderful teamwork, thank you.”

Dean is absolutely unable to keep the soft smile off his face and he’s really glad that he doesn’t have to. He can just tell Cas that he’s a really good actor if he questions it later. Which he probably won’t, because Cas is wearing a similarly dopey look on his face.

A loud clatter interrupts them and they both check to see what happened just in time for Dean to catch their tray from tumbling down because of Balthazar leaning in to take a picture. 

“Dude, seriously?” Dean say, just as Cas exclaims, 

“Nooooooo!” and then more quietly says “oh,” when he realises Dean caught it.

At the same time, Balthazar curses something like, "Oh, for fuck's sake!"

Thankfully the pastry chef doesn’t appear to have noticed the commotion, as he re-enters the room, seemingly having left before the whole thing happened. He's carrying three trays and puts them down.

They then begin the second part of the croissant-making, which unfortunately involves them abandoning their beautifully and masterfully made (in Dean's eyes) doughs and continuing with the cooled pastry which Jean had just gotten out.

Dean was only slightly dramatic over giving up their dough, and Cas tries to console him with remarking how the new pastry was not looking as perfectly squared as theirs.

They lay in the chilled butter and take breaks in between the chilling of the dough. Who knew that croissant making would take that long? 

During one of the breaks, they're allowed to have one pastry each and a coffee. They decide to drink it in the empty cafe around one of the round tables, so that they can enjoy the cafe atmosphere. Jean even puts on some old French music.

Dean takes the opportunity to be annoying and sits down on Cas's lap in one of the plush seats. When Cas looks at him, exasperated, Dean just grins and wriggles back further.

"What, there's no more space on this seat."

Dean sits for a while, sipping his coffee and content with his place, but then decides to get up to talk to Jean about more recipes. While getting up, he snatches Cas's pastry from his plate. Cas looks at him, betrayed.

"I was eating that!"

Dean just grins at him and then bends down to smack an obnoxious kiss on Cas's forehead, before sauntering over to the pastry chef.

Next time he looks over to Cas, he's in deep conversation with Kevin. They both suddenly look at Dean at the same time, which means Cas is probably talking about him and the thought makes it really difficult to suppress a blush. Dean winks at Cas and turns away, but can also feel his ears burning.

The thing about this afternoon in particular is, it’s so easy. Being with Cas is so natural Dean doesn’t even have to think extra hard about every move and it exhilarates Dean as much as it terrifies him.

They go back not soon after to fold their chilled doughs, a task that Cas is surprisingly adept at. All Dean can do is watch Cas with a fond expression as he leans over their station and carefully cuts and folds the dough in just the right way, but so slowly that it’s almost painful to watch. But Cas’s uncharacteristic loud cheer as he folds up his first croissant in the right way, having discarded his first two attempts to Dean’s care, is so endearing that Dean can’t help but hug him and kiss him on the cheek, right on a splotch of flour. 

They egg-wash their finished croissants and wait patiently while Kevin and Channing finish up theirs. The final baking time is only 20 minutes and Dean decides to use that as a short toilet break. On his way back, he rounds the corner and bumps into Channing.

"Oh, sorry, didn't see you there."

"No, I'm sorry, Dean," Channing says. Before Dean can move on while wondering about why her tone was so genuine, because bumping into someone in a hallway isn’t really that big of a deal, Channing gently takes a hold of his elbow for a moment to make him stay.

"I mean—" Channing looks down at the ground, biting her lip— "I'm sorry about earlier. About calling you and Cas 'grouchy'. I know you heard it." She actually uses finger quotes, and it makes Dean smile a little.

Channing doesn't see, still looking mostly past him.

"Hey, it's oka-"

"No, it really wasn't, and truth is—you guys are, like, couple goals! Honestly, I hope Kevin and I end up like that one day."

Dean frowns, taking in a breath to say something.

"_Not_ that I'm calling you guys old, _god_, what is wrong with me." Channing takes a deep breath and finally looks Dean in the eyes. "Anyways, what I was trying and failing to say—you guys are awesome together and I hope that you know that. Also, Cas is cute, so you really lucked out."

With that, Channing leaves Dean leaning against the wall.

He's still just standing there when Cas comes around the corner.

"Channing said to go check up on you? Is everything okay?"

What Dean wants to say is _yeah, everything is great, let's go_, but what comes out of his mouth is, "Apparently we're 'awesome together'."

Cas stares at him, shocked, almost scared like he's trying to put stuff together. Then, surprisingly, he smiles, but his eyes are tight. "Yes, we are. I mean we finished the croissants before they did, so I can't think of a better teammate." He quickly grasps at Dean's shoulder, patting him a bit awkwardly, and then turns around to head back to the kitchen.

"Yeah, that's what she meant," Dean says, almost to himself and follows Cas. When they return he sees Channing, who winks at him. Dean quickly looks away. Suddenly his good mood is over. 

_I can’t think of a better teammate. _It's so clear to Dean, now, that everything Cas has been doing, all the touches, all the gentle looks, were all just for show. The warm feeling Dean had this whole afternoon now turns sour, and he feels like throwing something. But then he looks at Cas, who is helping Jean move the trays out of the oven and all he can feel is sadness. Because what they had? It will never be real. Cas will never _really_ feel the urge to hold hands with him, to kiss him just because.

Dean suddenly feels a bit sick for having forced Cas into doing all of this and he quickly exits the bakery. He needs to get away for a bit, get some fresh air.

Outside, he takes deep breaths, holds them, and lets them out slowly. Just like Cas taught him. At that thought, he feels tears brim at the edge of his eyes. He doesn't know if he can keep all of this up. There are three days left on the trip, and he can't imagine going through the rest of it like this, knowing that Cas is not even remotely on the same page as him. He's probably regretting this whole plan anyway, having to touch Dean, and act all cozy with him when he’s not attracted to Dean in that way at all.

Just before Dean can have a complete mental breakdown, he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. He hadn't even realised that he closed his eyes a while ago, and he opens them to see a concerned Cas.

"Are you alright?"

Dean rubs his face with his hands to gather himself but also to wipe any tears that might have spilled. Thankfully his cheeks are dry and he gives Cas a watery smile.

"Yeah, just... needed some fresh air."

Cas’s hand has slipped from his shoulder, and Dean takes it, subconsciously, and starts playing with his fingers. He then realises what he’s doing and quickly drops the hand.

“Sorry!” he says, too loudly, embarrassed. “Sorry,” he says again, more quietly. 

It looks like Cas wants to say something, but at this point he’s also really good at reading Dean, and he probably picked up on how distressed he sounded. He studies Dean's face and obviously makes the decision that whatever it is, Dean will tell him if it's important. 

Though sometimes Dean wishes that Cas would prod a bit more at him, he also isn't ready to have a full breakdown in the side street of some Parisian cafe, so he's grateful for Cas deciding not to press the issue.

Instead, Cas holds up a paper bag.

"I have our croissants here. All six of them. And oh—" Cas starts rustling around in the paper bag. "Here are some recipes from Jean. He told me you asked for them. They are for three different types of pastries. He tried explaining it to me, but to be frank I had no idea what he was talking about, so I asked him to write it down.

"And Kevin and Channing say bye, and they hope you feel better. I told them that sometimes you get nauseous from other people being better than you at baking, so—"

Dean snorts at that and when he looks at Cas it's worth seeing his concerned face change into a soft smile.

"Alright, you weirdo, let's go."

They walk back to their hotel, shoulders brushing, talking about plans to bake together once they’re back home. And no matter how somber his thoughts were earlier, it feels good to know that at least Cas is still his best friend. For now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No swans were harmed in the making of this chapter.

The next morning, they get picked up at 9 am. It's their first time using their assigned driver since the airport, and saying that Dean is awkward about it is a generous term.

Since they know that they’re going kayaking, they both wear their bathing shorts underneath their jeans. Dean seriously debates wearing his short shorts. At the very last second, he decides against it, but puts them in his bag anyway, just in case.

They greet their driver at the entrance of the hotel, who introduces themselves as Hannah.

They walk to the massive black SUV together and at first, Dean wants to sit up front, but Hannah opens up the back door for them (a fact that Dean doesn't appreciate because he can open his own car doors, thank you very much) and gestures inside before Dean can even reach the front.

He then sits in the back and fidgets around with the seatbelt.

"This is weird, right? Tell me I'm not the only one who finds this weird, Cas?" Dean asks Cas, who's still trying to buckle his seatbelt. Hanna still hasn't entered the car, probably paying the parking ticket.

"I mean, do we tip Hannah? How does this even work? I feel like royalty, it feels wrong."

Cas finally manages to buckle himself up and looks up.

"It's fine, Dean. You said this comes with the trip, right? Just enjoy it." Cas look to the front and his eyes light up. "Look, there's even a mini-bar!"

Instead of joining Cas in his excitement, Dean just groans and hits his head against the headrest.

Hannah finally gets into the car and they start their journey. About 20 minutes into it, Dean finally relaxes enough to start a conversation with Hannah, who tells them about being French but having family in the US, which explains their almost flawless English. Cas seems particularly interested in that and asks a few very specific questions about Hannah's "language journey". Dean can almost see Cas writing down notes in his head.

Turns out having a conversation with their driver makes it a bit less weird to have, well... a driver. Not by much—Dean still has the strong urge to clarify how Not Normal this whole thing is, but it certainly helps.

They arrive at the site after about 45 minutes. Hannah informs them that they'll be back to pick them up after the activity, and drives off.

The place is just what Dean expected. A big open wooden structure with kayaks and paddles lining the walls, some life-vests on the other side. Dean can just about make out the river when glancing through the trees, but the sound of the rush of water is a big indicator that it's definitely there.

Dean starts grinning and nudges Cas.

"Don't worry about it, I'll save you if you fall in."

Cas squints at him. 

"My hero," he then says, completely flat.

Before Dean can protest, they're approached by what looks like the instructors. Balthazar is walking with them. How that man gets to places will forever be a complete mystery, Dean thinks. For all Dean knows, he just teleports.

They get through the instructions fast, with the two men, a father and son duo who apparently own the business, showing them how to use the paddle and what best not to do in some limited English. Dean gathers that it can't be too difficult. A boat is a boat, no matter how slim.

Before the older man hands them their life vest with a stern warning to not take them off, he turns to his son and exchanges some quick French with him. The younger one nods and translates. "Just a reminder not to get too close to the swans. They are, err, how do you say in English... territorial creatures."

Cas can see Dean eyeing the life vest with a concealed expression of slight disgust and gives him a knowing look that says _put this on, or I'll make you_ and Dean tries his best to get it on without thinking about how many people have worn it before him.

They get the boat from off the rack and start carrying it towards the water.

Balthazar settles in with one of the instructors with his own life vest, and about five thousand layers of plastic ponchos around his camera and also himself. 

“You look like...” Dean laughs. “... Like some kind of Astronaut-hippie-scientist.”

Balthazar just glares at him. Then he looks past him, and smirks. 

“I suggest you go help your struggling boy-toy over there, handsome.”

Before Dean can come up with a response, he hears a strangled "Dean" and when he turns around, he does actually see Cas who is now hefting the weight of the kayak by himself in the front—and Dean hurries to help him carry it down the dune towards the water, but not before glaring at Balthazar.

It starts out great. Dean takes the back, loudly stating that he's the muscle of the duo. Cas indulges him, but Dean is pretty sure he saw Balthazar roll his eyes. In truth, he just wants to be able to observe Cas's arms and back, the working muscles, glistening with water droplets in the sun…

The paddling seems easy enough and after a few strokes they figure out how to keep the kayak in a straight line. It really gets interesting in some of the rapids when the water gets wild.

"Left, Cas, paddle left," Dean yells over the rush of water and they just manage not to topple over. Once they're in still waters, Cas turns around with a wild look on his face.

"What did you _mean _'paddle left', Dean... _what did you mean_?"

Dean can't help but burst out laughing. 

"I don't know! It felt like the right thing to say!"

They paddle a bit longer, mostly in silence and enjoying the view. Dean is almost sad he didn't bring his phone to take his own pictures of the environment, and also Cas who looks amazing and relaxed in the sunlight. But then he remembers their almost incident in the rapids earlier, and he glances at Balthazar who is resting his camera on his lap and talking to the instructor behind him. Lucky bastard doesn't have to do any of the hard labor. Dean can already feel his arms aching.

Because Cas can't see him, and they're in almost still water, Dean decides to relax and let Cas do the work for a bit. He puts down his paddle and leans back, closing his eyes to feel the sun on his face. He can hear birds chirping, the river flowing—Cas's paddle gently moving through water in a steady rhythm.

It lasts only a minute or so before Cas apparently notices that he's doing all the work and moves his arm back to pat Dean's calf that's now resting on the edge of the boat. Dean cranks open his eyes a bit and sees Cas turning his head around to look at him, probably to tell him off for slacking off, but his expression suddenly changes from mildly accusatory to very alarmed, and looking slightly off over Dean's right shoulder.

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"Don't. Move."

Well, that's not what Dean expected to hear. So, of course, he moves to see what Cas is looking at, jostling the boat a bit—and comes face to face with a really, really beautiful, but also very imposing-looking swan.

"What the—?"

Cas's voice gets even lower. "Okay. I am going to move my paddle slowly, and move us away. You stay completely still, okay?"

The swan isn't even doing anything, really. Just swimming along with the kayak, looking pretty chilled out. Dean peeks behind it and suddenly sees a couple of little grey swan ducklings (is that what they're called, Dean wondered) behind it. They look really fluffy and way less graceful than their parent, just splashing around—and that's when Dean makes a big mistake.

It's not really like he's the only one to blame. It's more of a series of events that all happen consecutively in a very unfortunate manner. 

Because when he turns around to face Cas again, he apparently moves his leg a bit too much and his knee dislodges the paddle he put down in front of him and it slides off the kayak in a big splash. The swan apparently isn't delighted by that at all.

"Dean!"

Dean has never been aware that swans have teeth. It would be an interesting fun fact if Dean didn't have to find that out by himself, while in a kayak, in the middle of a body of water.

Before he knows it, the swan is wildly flapping its ridiculously large wings and squawking and hissing in their face and honestly, in Dean's opinion, he feels that it's very justified that he... panics.

He's not sure if it's him or Cas who is screaming, maybe both of them, but he definitely lets out a not-so-flattering sound when his flailing starts to dip the boat dangerously.

Next thing he knows, he's surrounded by really cold water, gasping for air after being dunked under.

"Dean!" he hears again, and he finally gets his limbs under control and locates the kayak a few feet away. Cas is somehow still in it, but the swan is nowhere to be seen.

Dean takes a couple more deep breaths and starts swimming towards the kayak, face burning and the life-vest around his ears. He then hears a weird splashing sound behind him and Cas starts cursing in front of him. He looks back (as much as he can, really, since his view is a little hindered by the life vest) and sees the bird on its way again, huge wings flapping and screeching.

Dean Winchester has seen and faced many things during his lifetime. There was that one time a car almost fell on him while he was working on it and it took a whole operation of mechanics and 40 minutes of them cursing to get him out of that situation. Or that time when he tripped and fell into a really disgusting ditch full of bugs and he had to walk back home in the rain and when he got back home, Cas had almost called the police because he thought that Dean was a burglar.

Point is, Dean has been in many situations that he handled mostly with grace. This is not one of them. For some reason, that big gigantic bird terrifies the shit out of him, and he swims like he’s never swum before.

"Dean, swim!"

If Dean were in any other situation that would allow him to roll his eyes, he 100% would have done. Instead, he swallows a bunch of water and it takes everything in him not to panic.

Suddenly there's a splashing sound, and then there are arms around him, hands on his face.

Then those hands move around his waist, and Cas is dragging him back to the boat. Cas climbs back in, arm muscles straining—and then turns to help Dean up, which is a more complicated endeavor than Dean thought.

When he finally gets back in—kayak rocking wildly, gasping and still kind of coughing water out of his lungs—Cas cradles his face again, eyes wide and concerned.

"Dean, are you okay? It's gone."

Dean coughs half-heartedly.

They row back in silence, Dean not helping very much because he's too weak from swimming for his life (or, as Balthazar points out, too busy pouting into his life-vest).

As Cas explains, Balthazar and the instructor’s boat had raised their paddles and shouted at the swan until it stopped chasing Dean, while Cas went to the rescue. 

It's all very much not how Dean envisioned any of this.

After reaching base-camp, stowing the boats away and thanking the owners, they pile back into the car that's ready for them—Dean wet and miserable, Cas more upbeat and slightly amused, although also wet.

Inside the car, Hannah has very kindly put down towels on the seats for them, and tells them that it’s totally fine if they change. Hannah starts driving and presses a button that puts up a dark screen between them and the front of the car.

Dean rummages through the bag, to get out the dry clothing both of them brought. He hands Cas his t-shirt and sweatpants and then remembers with horror what he packed. He quickly glances at Cas, who is busy putting on the sweatpants over his damp boxer-briefs that he wore under his swimming-trunks—and then Dean pulls out his own shorts. The short shorts. 

He glances up for a moment, hoping that the next time he looks, the shorts will have magically morphed into normal pants. He looks down and no, there they are, taunting him. He briefly considers just keeping his wet swim shorts on, but then he thinks about the nice hotel and the way they would drip all over the carpet. Not to mention how uncomfortable this whole ride will be if he keeps them on.

With another glance at Cas, who is thankfully not paying attention to him—too busy fighting with pulling off his wet t-shirt in the enclosed space—he finally discards his swim trunks underneath one of the towels and pulls up dry boxers from his bag. He then takes a deep breath and also quickly pulls up the shorts, which are way shorter than he remembers, and he tucks his boxers under the shorts so it doesn’t look completely ridiculous. 

The shorts are a bit tight, since it’s been a good while since he wore them last, but at least they’re dry and warm and Dean slumps back into the seat. He quickly changes his t-shirt as well, but leaves the towel in his lap to save his dignity, just in case Cas decides to look over.

Now finally warm and dry, he takes another look at Cas, who is now slumped against the windows with his eyes closed. Resting his eyes sounds like a really nice idea, especially now that the adrenalin has subsided. Dean also leans back, using one of the towels as a headrest, and dozes off.

The sound of the motor shutting off wakes Dean up from his half-nap and he takes a second to orientate himself. 

He sits up and looks to his left, where Cas is who is looking at him with a very odd expression on his face. He feels a breeze around his legs, probably the AC, and looks down to see the towel has slipped mostly off his legs, revealing... a lot. He straightens it out again and glares at Cas.

"What?"

"Nothing," Cas says, acting innocent. "Those are lovely pants."

"Shut up."

"No, I'm serious, you should wear them more often," Cas says, smiling a bit too much, and then opens his car seat to get out before Dean can respond, leaving him with a burning face.

Dean sighs and looks down at his lap. There's no way around this, really. He's going to have to walk through the lobby like this. He closes his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts and decides something for himself. If people are going to see him in these shorts, he's going to go full in.

He whips off the towel, takes his bag and opens up the car door. Cas is standing there, talking to Hannah while waiting for him.

It's a bit odd, wearing boots with short shorts, but he'll manage.

"Bye, Hannah," he says casually, and pats Cas on the shoulder, who is looking at his legs with a face Dean can't quite decipher. "Let's go, Cas."

Since it's quite late in the afternoon, they don't really have anything else planned for the day. Cas wants to walk around a bit and also see if he can buy any wine for his colleagues at his college. He asks Dean about three times if he wants to come along, but Dean waves him off, telling him to enjoy his free time, since he wants to call Sam and maybe Charlie anyway and this is a perfect time, so Cas heads out not long after taking a quick shower.

Cas brings them back some sandwiches, and since they didn’t really have a lunch, Dean is ravenous, and they’re really really good. 

“God, the breab hew ish sho much better than at home.”

Cas, who hasn’t stuffed his face full of baguette yet, smiles. “Well, there is some really good bread at Whole Foods. You just refuse to eat that, so…”

“Whole Foods is for jerks,” Dean just says, and takes another big bite out of his sandwich.

They squabble more about what kind of bread is acceptable. It's an argument Dean wins easily because a) he does most of the grocery shopping currently because he is the one who cooks and b) he has a lot of data from the time he was on the road a lot as a kid and went through many different diners.

The discussion ends with them agreeing that they should drive to Seattle together sometime to get Dave's Killer Bread, which, according to Dean, is the best American bread there is and absolutely worthy of its name.

The fact that Cas is willing to go on another trip with Dean after this, fills Dean with warmth and also hope that he isn't screwing this up too much. It even looks like Cas is actively enjoying his time on this vacation, even when they're just hanging out together.

He's apparently staring at Cas a bit too long because a few seconds have gone by without Dean really noticing and Cas's eyes have gone soft.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"I'm having an amazing time here." The fact that Cas's tone of voice is so sincere, and that he's wearing that very small smile that shines mostly through his eyes, kind of undoes Dean a little, and he has to swallow.

He then smiles back at Cas.

"Okay," he says, "I'm glad."

He ducks his head and watches his fingers, which are following the pattern of the comforter, so that he doesn't have to look into Cas's eyes anymore.

"Let's just hope there's no more swans around, because not gonna lie, I think I had a near-death experience."

That makes Cas laugh a bit and through the giggles, he says, "You should have seen your face!"

Dean looks up again and tries to look intimidating.

"You are _not_ allowed to tell that story to Sam. Also, it had _teeth_!"

That just makes Cas laugh harder, and Dean stands up with a playful huff but smiles as soon as he turns his back on Cas. It's really good to hear him laugh.

He goes to the bathroom to wash the sandwich sauce off his fingers (although there's not really anything on his fingers, he just wants to take a little breather).

He gets there and pushes the light-switch. And presses it again. And again. Nothing.

He goes to the mirror where the lightbulb is. He turns it a little and goes back to the light-switch. Still nothing.

He's frowning at the lightbulb, when the light source of the room suddenly blocks out.

“Is everything alright?”

It’s stupid that Dean jumps, because of course it’s Cas. He was probably watching Dean from over on the bed, and was wondering what’s happening.

It gets light again when Cas moves closer—close enough that he is almost entirely pressed against Dean's back. Dean, who is trying very hard to only focus on the lightbulb in his hand.

He turns around, away from the mirror, partly to put the lightbulb on the shelf, partly to create a bit of space between him and Cas. But Cas stays right where he is. It's so close, that Dean can see every single eyelash and also the way Cas's eyes dart across Dean's face, lingering oddly long on Dean's lips, which he subconsciously licks— which is a movement Cas then follows.

And he can’t stop himself.

He crashes forward, his lips meeting Cas’s in an almost painful way, noses clashing and he suddenly halts his movement and just feels the plushness of the Cas lips on his, before he pulls back. 

They were unresponsive.

Cas hadn’t kissed back. Cas didn’t kiss him back and now he’s the idiot that misinterpreted the personal space issue, and he can’t leave because Cas is still standing in the way. 

Dean turns around in a hurry, wiping a hand over his face, trying to hide his burning eyes and his probably flushed face. He exhales with a shudder and the pain in his chest is just growing, and he can’t even breathe in properly because what the hell did he just do, he just kissed his best friend, his roommate, who was probably still just standing there wondering—

“Dean.”

Silence.

“Are you alright?”

He lets out a shaky laugh.

“Cas, I’m—” he looks up at the broken light. He doesn’t want to say he’s sorry. The left bulb still isn’t working. He can’t look at Cas, but he can feel his proximity like a warm fire. It doesn’t relieve the ache in his chest, the burning but stabbing sensation spreading with every breath he can’t take. He decides not to finish the sentence. He doesn’t know how to, too afraid the dam will burst and he’ll burst into tears. He can already feel them dangerously brimming at the edge, eyes and face hot from trying to hold them back.

A hand lands on his shoulder, first light and then urging him to turn around. Dean resists a bit before relenting, but he still avoids Cas’s eyes.

“We should call the reception desk.”

“The—what?” Of all things, that is not at all what he expected Cas to say. He had more expected to hear something along the lines of, “_Go away, Dean, I don’t like you like that, that’s disgusting_.”

“—about the broken light. We should call them to fix it.”

Dean just blinks at him.

Cas sighs and the hand that’s still on his shoulder slides down to his hand, grasping it softly, thumb stroking across Dean’s knuckles. He then tugs at it, and leads Dean, who is now staring at the back of Cas’ head, still dazed, out of the bathroom. 

“But I guess we can do that later as well,” Cas says, turning around to look at Dean.

His eyes are fixed on Dean's, intensely blue and wide and they just stare at each other for what feels like minutes. There's something in Cas's eyes, that almost looks like determination and also a little bit of fear.

Dean takes a breath wanting to say _something_ but Cas beats him to it. 

“You meant it, right?“ His voice is soft. “The kiss?“

Dean subconsciously licks his lips, looking down on the floor. He can't face Cas. Can't face the possible pity that's in his expression. He nods his head a bit and shrugs his shoulders. Every movement seems too large, too complicated right now.

Then he feels a hand on his jaw. Cas's hand is big and warm, lifting his face. Cas's thumb strokes over his cheekbone and it feels great and Dean can't help but melt into it.

“Dean?“

“Hmm?“

“Do you mind if I kiss you now?“

Dean's breath hitches. He gives a tiny nod, dazed.

When their lips meet again, it feels right. There's nothing explosive about it. No fireworks or big lights go off in Dean's brain. It's more like a warm fire that spreads from his chest, warm and glowing, when their lips meet again, soft and gentle, almost hesitant. 

It gets more heated after Cas lets out a very low sound that Dean thinks he can feel through his own chest, and he pulls Cas even closer. 

Cas pulls off and suddenly looks weirdly shy.

“Do you— want to take this further?”

That is probably the most polite way anyone has ever asked Dean that question and he is weirdly touched by it.

As a response, Dean simply takes Cas’s hand and leads them to their bed, where he turns around and grins at him. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a very, _very_ long time.”

Cas has the decency to look a bit surprised and Dean honestly doesn’t know if he should be proud of himself for hiding his crush so well, or if it’s sad. Maybe a bit of both.

“You seriously didn’t know?” Dean asks carefully.

“I—” Cas looks away for a moment, looking like he is actually thinking about it. “To be frank, I always thought it was one-sided. I always thought you wouldn’t be interested in someone—well, someone like me.” Cas looks terribly sad for a moment. 

Dean frowns at that.

“How do you mean?” Even though he says it quietly, it still sounds a bit harsh in his ears, so he repeats himself, softer this time. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you are so outgoing and I’m so—me. So awkward, and. You know.”

Cas sounds so distressed now, so Dean squeezes his hand and rubs his thumb over Cas’s hand.

“Well if it’s any consolation—I think you’re really fucking awesome.”

Cas looks up at that, eyes wide, but there’s also something else in his eyes, that makes them shine. Something like happiness, like something has clicked inside of Cas that makes him understand that Dean is _in this_ and Dean feels it too, suddenly, and the joy he feels is a bit overwhelming. 

“You’re pretty awesome awesome too, you know?” Cas smiles at him. “I have known that for… years. I’m not that good at math.”

“_Known_ known, or like… you know.” 

Let it never be said that Dean Winchester doesn’t have a way with words. Cas seems to understand, though.

“As in, I have liked you in a romantic way for almost as long as we have been roommates and I can’t imagine ever feeling differently about you.”

“Oh,” Dean says, eloquently. “Uhm, same, you know, for me. Same.”

He’s a little breathless and honestly can’t believe that all of this is happening. He decides to make it real again, and starts kissing Cas again and tries to put all the words he can’t say into it. By the way Cas is responding he seems to understand.

Dean sits down on the bed and pulls Cas to stand between his legs. He wraps his arms loosely around Cas’s waist, pulling him in. He slowly nuzzles the stomach in front of him, just taking a moment to be close to Cas, to feel his warmth and softness. He sighs contently when he hears, or more feels Cas hum and then start carding his fingers through Dean’s hair. The fingers don’t urge him to move, they’re just there, petting and Dean closes his eyes, enjoying it. 

He whines quietly when he feels Cas move away slightly, but smiles when he feels Cas kiss the top of his head. It sends pleasant shivers through his body when Cas softly murmurs, 

“Are you alright?” into his hair.

It takes a moment for Dean to respond, but Cas doesn’t rush, stroking down to the sides of his head, tilting his face up to meet Cas’s eyes which shine with unmistaken fondness and contentment.

“Yeah. Just... takin’ it all in,” Dean says, and it feels so weird but also so right to finally just say what he thinks for once. He is rewarded with a soft smile that spreads on Cas’s face as he hums in agreement.

Dean grins lazily and then pulls Cas back closer to kiss his stomach through the fabric of his t-shirt. He moves his hands to Cas’s hips and slowly strokes upwards, lifting the shirt and finally getting to warm skin. He grins against the skin of the stomach when he hears Cas letting out a small gasp above him.

He slowly works his way down, kissing those sharp hip bones and then looks up when he reaches the belt, hands ready to ask with a look if Cas is good to continue. The other man just nods and tugs a little at his hair and Dean makes quick work of unbuckling and unzipping Cas’s jeans.

It’s been a good while since Dean’s given a blowjob, but seeing the bulge in Cas’s boxer briefs makes his mouth water. He slowly pulls them down, over those sinfully big thighs he’s been staring at for so long, and kisses along Cas’s hips first, and works his way to where Cas is already half-hard.

In the end, it’s like riding a bike. Cas definitely enjoys it, judging by the sounds Dean gets out of him and the way his thighs quiver under Dean’s hands. Halfway through, he tugs on Dean’s hair again, which makes Dean hum around Cas’s dick which in turn makes Cas’s breath hitch—but then he tugs again, more insistently, and Dean looks up, pulling off.

Cas lets out a shaky breath and gestures to the bed. Before he can really say anything, Dean gets it and maneuvers Cas around him onto the bed and is on him again in a second. He pulls at Cas’s shirt and after Cas dutifully takes it off, Dean gently pushes Cas back on the bed, and moves up, kissing Cas’s sternum on the way.

“Hi,” Dean says, arriving at Cas’s eye-level.

“Hello.”

“You good with kissing?”

Cas frowns up at him. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with kissing now?”

“Dude, I just had your dick in my mouth.”

Cas just cups the back of Dean’s head and pulls him down and kisses him pointedly and Dean mumbles an “okay, mhm, you’re cool with it” into the kiss.

Suddenly Cas pulls back a few seconds into the very good make-out and Dean cuts off a very embarrassing whine that came from the back of his throat.

Cas makes eye contact with him, squinting up. 

“I just have one request.”

Dean raises his eyebrows.

“Please don’t call me ‘dude’ while we’re doing this?”

That startles a laugh out of Dean and he drops his head down to Cas’s shoulder. It’s a really nice shoulder and he brushes his lips against the side of his neck, just to be an asshole, before answering. 

“Yeah, dude, I can try,” Dean says, and Cas hits him lightly on the shoulder. He then pulls at Dean’s shirt insistently until Dean gets the point and sits up to take off his shirt and his jeans too, while he’s at it.

“What do you prefer. Darling? Honey?” Dean gets down to Cas’s level again, giving him a simple peck. Then his voice gets softer. “Sweetheart?” 

Cas flushes a bit and Dean hums, satisfied. They get to kissing again and the lack of clothing between them makes Dean’s arousal noticeable. He groans into their kiss when Cas pushes his hips up and creates friction against Dean’s cock through his briefs. It drops into a low moan when Cas moves his hands to Dean’s back and slowly pushes down Dean’s underwear, freeing his erection. Cas also doesn’t shy away from grabbing Dean’s ass and using the leverage to make Dean grind down on him, which makes both of them gasp.

Dean leans down to kiss Cas again. His mouth is so soft and irresistible that Dean can’t believe he missed out for so long. He moves down to mouth down Cas’s jawline, noticing the stubble and taking a moment just breathing in Cas's scent while kissing down his neck. He can feel Cas shudder underneath him, and suddenly Cas grabs him with both arms and legs and now Cas is on top, looking down at Dean's flushed face.

Dean lets out an involuntary "—oh", surprised, but also slightly more turned on than before. Nobody has ever been able to manhandle him quite like this before. He looks at Cas's arms, straining from holding himself up, and trails down his hand from Cas's shoulder down his biceps.

"You're pretty hot, you know that, Cas?"

Cas starts grinding them together again, and moves one of his arms down to take their cocks in his hand, which makes them both gasp from how good it feels.

"You're not so bad yourself," Cas says, and then drops down to suck at Dean's neck, while still working on their erections. Dean can only groan at that, and it's half because he feels so good but also because that's not at all what Cas was supposed to say.

"Damn, Cas," he gasps, "my confidence is at an all-time high."

Cas just chuckles against his neck and pulls back slightly, looking at the hickey that has now formed there with some strange satisfaction that makes Dean feel warm inside. Cas then looks him in the eyes again and squeezes their dicks together in a way that is just on the side of pleasurable.

"I aim to please."

Cas pulls his hand off, which Dean finds really unfair for a moment, but then Cas spits in his palm (which Dean doesn't grimace at all, nope) and takes them back in his hand, and the smoother glide makes everything even more intense than before and Dean needs to close his eyes for a moment to not lose it immediately.

“Also, those shorts earlier… I wasn’t kidding when I said that you should wear them more often,” Cas says between breaths. “You look really, really good in them.”

That makes Dean open his eyes again, but he’s too into all of what’s happening to laugh the statement off. 

“Yeah?” he gasps.

Cas just nods and kisses him again, more messy but still so so perfect.

It doesn't take long for the heat to start building in Dean's lower stomach and he gasps out Cas's name as a warning. Thankfully Cas seems to be just as close, and Dean can feel him tensing up, and dragging his fist over both their cocks with renewed vigor.

It takes one look at Cas with his closed eyes and hair that is all over the place, which can now be honorably called sex hair, for Dean to come. It’s a bit embarrassing that it’s that sight and the knowledge that this is Cas, his best friend who he’s been pining over for the last two or so years, that does it—but nobody has to know that. The warmth that spreads in his chest makes his eyes prickle and the feeling gets so overwhelming that it all just… implodes. Pleasure erupts from within him, making his toes curl and his fingers dig into Cas's shoulder and back, probably marking him up. Cas isn't far behind, spilling over Dean's stomach with a groan and promptly collapsing half on top of Dean.

Dean lets Cas rest for a few seconds but then nudges his shoulder.

"—can't breathe."

Cas rolls off him with a dramatic grunt, eyes closed, but immediately curls against Dean's side and pulls him in, so Dean can't even get up to get a washcloth. Which, as much as he lov- is infatuated by Cas, he just can’t do.

“Cas.”

“Hnnn.”

“Sorry, sweetheart, I gotta get up real quick.” He can see Cas frown at that. “I’ll be back fast, I promise.”

He does go really quickly— gently extracting himself from Cas, washing himself up, and then running a small washcloth under warm water to bring back to Cas.

After cleaning him up, he goes back to snuggle in with him, and Cas turns them so Dean is flat on his back, and Cas is curled around his side again. He shuffles a bit closer, pressing his face into Dean’s neck and leaving a small kiss there, which makes Dean feel all kinds of giddy, which is odd after the things they _just_ did.

Cas also starts caressing Dean’s stomach. It tickles a bit but it’s not too unpleasant. But Dean is also noticing how much Cas is paying attention to the slightly pudgy area and he shuffles a bit under the hand. When Cas doesn’t relent, he grumbles a bit under his breath.

“What?” Cas asks.

“I’m just… soft there, I guess.”

Cas lets out a little breath of a laugh and then hums, pleased. “Well, I like it.”

Afterward, when they lay there, ready for sleep to take them, arms coiled around each other, Cas makes another noise. Or mumbles something.

Dean takes a few seconds to respond and it’s mostly a toneless _mmhm?_

He can feel Cas’s breath against his collarbone, and his ribs vibrating under his fingertips when he speaks again, a bit clearer. “You know, I imagined this? Sometimes?”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm. Even when we were back at home. Sometimes when you were in the kitchen, making dinner for us. I’d just—” Cas shuffles a bit, presses his face more into Dean’s neck. Dean strokes his fingers along Cas’s spine.

“This is kind of embarrassing, but I’d imagine that we were together. That we had been together for years. It seemed so _easy._”

Dean is suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of fondness for Cas and he smiles against his hair. He then moves back a bit and kisses his forehead.

He’s too tired to really say anything so he just hums a happy noise and tugs him closer. His heart aches for a moment because he thinks of the time they could have had together for real, how wonderful it would have been to be able to kiss Cas in those moments, to hold him on the couch while they were watching movies together—but then he stops himself. Having Cas as his best friend was amazing. Sure, he could have had a couple of months less of pining, but the time they spent together was still priceless, and honestly, maybe it’s good that this thing between them isn’t rushed.

This way, he already knows that Cas can’t cook for shit. That he hums along to songs but is kind of tone-deaf and it used to annoy Dean a little but now it’s just another thing that is incredibly endearing. 

And oh, how amazing is it that he doesn’t have to explain his own weird little things to Cas. Because Cas _knows_ him. He doesn’t have to pretend to be a better version of himself, just so Cas doesn’t leave. That realization strikes him just as Cas shuffles a bit and burrows his head more into the crook of Dean’s neck and his heart flutters. 

He pulls Cas closer to him and falls asleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are talking! And things are happening! Finally!


	5. Chapter 5

The next day is... weird. First of all, it starts with Dean wanting to shower but not being able to close the door because the lightbulb is still not working and he can’t exactly shower in the dark. So even though Cas is still asleep and knows what Dean’s nude body looks like anyway, he still feels a little exposed. He makes a mental note to talk to reception about it after breakfast and just goes through his morning routine faster than normal.

It’s also weird, because now Dean holds Cas's hand in the elevator and it feels different— even though it's exactly the same as the first day they did this. He can barely contain a grin all throughout breakfast and he doesn't even complain when Cas steals one of his mini-croissants off his plate in exchange for a grape.

“Are you excited for Versailles?”

Cas finishes his coffee and smiles at Dean.

“I’m always excited to see places where people were executed by Guillotine. Oh, maybe we’ll see Marie Antoinette’s ghost.” He suddenly looks thoughtful. “I hope the head is missing.”

“Jesus, Cas.”

When they leave the hotel to meet up with Balthazar, Dean keeps bumping Cas with his shoulder and grinning at him to the point where Cas tells him to knock it off because his shoulders still hurt from the kayaking yesterday. But to be honest, he doesn’t look any less happy, judging by the small smile that’s on his face since the morning.

They meet with Balthazar and together they walk to the car park to get to Hannah, who will take them to Versailles.

It’s beautiful. The gardens especially are mesmerizing, and as much as Dean admires this place, he can’t help but focus more on Cas’s heat beside him, and the way his eyes shine with curiosity when he asks the tour guide way too many questions during the tour.

It’s so crazy to him that now Cas and him are a Thing. That he's allowed to kiss him _for real_ now. He even debates shaking Balthazar's shoulders to tell him the news, but the photographer just keeps taking pictures like it's normal that they're holding hands or that Cas is just casually laying his head on Dean's shoulder during the tour. Because technically it is. They've been doing this for days, but now the tingles that Dean gets in his stomach and chest every time Cas touches him aren't under a cloud of nervous energy and the feeling is so intensely freeing that Dean feels like he's going to fly away any moment now.

When their tour comes to an end and they're given free time to walk around the gardens by themselves, Cas pulls him behind one of the tall hedges and looks around.

"Do you see Balthazar anywhere?"

"Uhh, no?"

"Good."

"What—"

Before Dean can get out the whole question, Cas pulls him in and starts kissing him. Dean is too stunned to react at first, but starts kissing back once he gets with the program.

Kissing Cas is exhilarating. The softness of his lips is addicting and every time he feels the drag of stubble against his own, it sends shivers down his spine.

Dean can't help the noise that comes out when Cas pulls back to catch a breath and starts kissing along Dean's jawline and placing a kiss just below Dean's ear where he's most sensitive, making Dean gasp a little.

"I've been waiting to do this all day," Cas whispers, pulling back and looking into Dean's eyes.

"Yeah?" Dean’s voice cracks on that one word and he clears his throat.

Cas smiles and puts a hand on Dean's face and strokes the skin under his eyes with his thumb.

"Your freckles stand out when you blush. It's really endearing."

Dean snorts, but his face heats up even more.

"Shut up."

He puts his hand on Cas's hand and turns to plant a kiss on the palm that was caressing his face.

He closes his eyes for a second and breaths in Cas's presence and tries not to grin too much because that would be embarrassing.

"Hey, Dean?"

"Yeah?"

Then Cas slaps him lightly on the shoulder. "Tag, you're it," he says, grinning and then runs away, laughing.

"Oh, you're on!" Dean shouts and runs after him, almost barreling over Balthazar who was apparently standing behind the bush.

\---

The only thing he can tell Sam during their call in the evening is that apparently the craftsmen behind Versailles’ Hall of Mirrors were assassinated for selling Venetian mirror-making secrets to the French. Which is pretty intense. He also might have googled it afterward because he needs to tell Sam _something_ interesting so he doesn’t talk about Cas the entire time. 

Even though he’s dying to tell someone about it, he also hasn’t talked to Cas about telling other people. It’s all so new, that it feels like he would pressure Cas into continuing the relationship after this trip if he tells everyone about it now. And that thought makes him spiral, because what if Cas is just caught up in the romance of this trip? What if, when they go back home, Cas is so bored by his relationship with Dean, _by Dean_, that he ends it to find somebody more interesting? 

He thinks about it also during dinner. It’s a restaurant near the hotel and is not nearly as formal as the first one they visited, but still fancy enough not to serve anything Dean really recognizes (Cas helps him find some pasta dish that he ends up enjoying). Cas asks him why he’s so quiet, but Dean just smiles at him, to not make Cas worry. 

He knows that sometimes his head is messing with him. So he looks at Cas, who looks like he’s enjoying his dessert, but also eyeing Dean carefully and Dean makes a decision. He replays all the moments he has had so far and decides that he has to get out of his head for a bit. Enjoy the moment, as Charlie would probably say.

“Cas, maybe we should go out tonight.”

Cas squints at him.

"We are out, right now..."

"Yeah, but I mean properly," Dean says. "C'mon, there's so many bars around here, and we haven't even gone to one! I mean, so far we've always been pretty tired after doing so much stuff all day, but now—" he clears his throat, a bit nervous now— "well, now that we're together and all that, I feel like we should go somewhere. Celebrate a bit?"

He looks at Cas who started out looking a bit skeptical, but as Dean continued, his face morphed into a shy smile.

"I suppose it would be a good thing to do."

Bars are unsurprisingly not hard to find. They go into one that's only a five-minute walk from the hotel so that when Cas feels tired or feels like it's getting too much, it wouldn't be a long walk back.

At first, Dean wants to order a beer, but after Cas takes so long to look through the cocktail menu, discussing each choice with Dean, a beer just seems way too bland and as Cas helpfully points out, they _are_ there to celebrate.

After they both get their cocktail, delivered by a waiter who doesn't really speak English, but a lot with his body language, they settle a bit closer together in their booth.

The music is slightly too loud to have a normal conversation, but it's also the kind of music that makes people sing along and before they know it, the whole bar is singing along to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun followed by Bohemian Rhapsody and other great nostalgic hits that all blur together at some point.

Slightly tipsy, Dean throws an arm around Cas, who is rosy-cheeked and smiling and sways with him to the tune. Just because he can, he swoops down and plants a big smooch on his cheek, which Cas turns into a real kiss by turning his head into it. Their noses clash and Dean starts giggling.

He takes out his phone and it takes about three tries, but he finally gets it unlocked and he goes to his camera. Cas gets what he's doing and turns to press a kiss against Dean's cheek, while Dean smiles wildly into the camera. He takes a couple more pictures, just to make sure he's got it, including one where Cas looks ahead again with a cute scrunched-up face while Dean, in turn, kisses his cheek.

They sit down again when the music eases into some more mellow songs. Cas goes to the bathroom and while he's gone, Dean swipes through the pictures, each making his heart pump harder in his chest, even though they're all slightly blurry. He sets one as his background picture immediately. He also sends one to Charlie and then puts his phone away, when Cas comes back with another cocktail for them to share.

They don't stay for long after finishing it, Cas kind of dropping in and out of the conversation, which usually indicates that he's getting a bit antsy about being out and surrounded by so much noise for long periods of time.

Dean doesn't mind, also ready to leave, and they stumble back to the hotel together—not necessarily drunk, but not too sober either. It's the level of tipsiness that, for example, makes Cas giggle uncontrollably when Dean greets the receptionist with an overexaggerated "_Bon! Soir!". _The receptionist just hides a smile and nods and says, "_Bonsoir messieurs."_

It's a bit awkward when they have to wait for the elevators a bit longer than expected, and Dean keeps checking if the receptionist is still watching them. Cas is almost completely red at this point from trying to suppress his laughter to seem more serious.

They get to their room, and Cas immediately collapses onto the bed, without even taking off his shoes. Dean looks at him for a moment and goes to grab him a glass of tap water that he forces Cas to drink, while Dean takes off the shoes for him. Cas just hums a thank-you and half-heartedly starts tugging at his clothes in an attempt to take them off.

He then sighs, as if he has the hardest job in the world and starts taking off his clothes for real and changes into his pajamas before burrowing face-first into the bed.

Dean just watches the whole thing from the side, thinking if this is the funniest thing he has ever witnessed because he imagines the whole thing playing with a narrator going, _"The Castiel has exhausted himself and is now ready for bed. His mate is unwilling to assist, too busy scavenging for life-saving water—", _so he tries not to laugh at his own thoughts out loud.

What gets him going is Cas mumbling a very sad sounding, "Dean, come t' bed." When Dean goes to the bathroom to wash up and change instead of joining Cas immediately, he hears Cas let out a very distressed "_No!_" and he actually can't suppress a giggle this time.

"It's okay, Cas. I'm coming in a minute."

He thinks Cas has already fallen asleep, but then he hears, very delayed, "—oh. Okay."

Not wanting to disappoint Cas, he changes as quickly as he can, brushes his teeth and then crawls into the bed, switching off the light on the way.

"Here I am, Cas," he whispers, not sure if Cas is even still awake.

Cas doesn't say anything, but when Dean lays down, he makes him turn around on his other side and fits himself alongside Dean's back, putting an arm over his waist and holding him like that. He then kisses Dean's neck, mumbling, 

"Goodnight, Dean."

There's a possibility that Dean has never been happier in his life.

"Goodnight, Cas."

\---

It's not just because Cas has a hangover— honestly, it's not even that bad— but also the fact that they are both pretty exhausted. The last day is free on the itinerary as well, except for a visit to the Eiffel Tower at sunset, followed by an interview with Donna and Jody about their experience. So they have a nice sleep-in, with Dean bringing things up from breakfast for Cas, who sleeps until around 11:30.

Before Cas wakes up, Dean texts back and forth with Charlie, who answered his pictures from last night with a few texts that were a mix of emojis and scrambled letters.

To be honest, Dean is missing home a lot at this point as well. It's been a long time since he last spent so much time away from his friends and Bobby and it makes him realize just how much of his own family he has built back at home. And now Cas has become an even more solid foundation in that family.

Dean celebrates that thought by squeezing more jam onto his croissant.

Evening comes along, and Dean and Cas get ready to go out. They leave quite early, just to make sure they get there on time. Also, Dean just wants to enjoy the walk with Cas. As weird as it is to be so public about his affections usually, Dean has absolutely no qualms about doing so with Cas for some reason. Maybe it's just that every time he looks at Cas, he knows that every moment with him is precious. He needs to cherish every minute that goes by that he gets to spend with him and that means holding his hand whenever he feels like this without thinking about what other people thought about it.

They walk onto the Place du Trocadéro, from which they will best see the Eiffel Tower. Balthazar is of course already there. He greets them from far away, but waves at them to stop before they can get closer to him so that he can get a few pictures of them arriving, Dean guesses.

Dean looks ahead, and there stands the tower everyone always talks about. They had caught sight of it over the last few days from afar, but they never really took the time to go see it, knowing that it was planned for the last day. And it's sort of worth it. He looks at Cas, who is also looking at the Eiffel Tower in awe, while the sky turns into beautiful orange purply-blues around it.

Balthazar gets their attention again by waving kind of maniacally, and gestures to the other side of the space and Cas pulls Dean along so they can take some pictures with the Eiffel Tower in the background.

They stand there, only holding hands for the first batch of pictures but then Dean tugs at Cas's hand.

"You wanna kiss? Make this extra cliche?"

Cas looks at him, dazed, and then the most brilliant smile overcomes his face. He takes the edge of Dean's open shirt and pulls him into a kiss. Surprised, Dean doesn't manage to stabilize soon enough and to balance out, Cas leans back, still pulling Dean with him, while Dean holds Cas with one arm across his back. He never stops kissing him throughout; only in the end, when the bend becomes too much and they almost topple over, does he release Dean and they grin at each other. Dean is still kind of holding Cas up from falling backwards.

"I love you, Dean," Cas says, while still looking into Dean's eyes.

And Dean drops Cas.

It's not like the announcement is a huge surprise. Cas _has_ been implying it the whole time, right? But that doesn’t mean it's a good thing to announce while in the arms of a person who is known to not handle emotional situations very well.

While Dean's thoughts race a mile per minute, Cas is still on the ground, and at that point, Balthazar has come up to help Cas up—but before he can do that, Dean drops to the ground next to Cas and takes his face in both of his hands.

"You dumbass," he says, and before Cas can look any more like he wants to cry he adds, "Of course I love you too." And then he kisses him, still on the floor.

They get up just in time to see the Eiffel Tower sparkle. Looking at it, Dean can't stop the stupid thought that it reflects the sparkle inside his heart, as he holds Cas tightly.

\---

The interview with Jody and Donna is over dinner in their apartment. Jody had called Dean to ask if they wanted to go out to a nice restaurant instead, and Dean declined politely, telling her that they both preferred a more private setting.

"Hi, Dean, Cas," Donna greets them, "it's nice to see you again. How have you been?" Cas answers politely, while Donna shows them the way through to the dining table where Jody sits and greets them. Dean hands them the wine they brought as a thank-you gift and Donna looks so delighted by it that she hugs him.

The food is nice and the atmosphere cozy. Jody and Donna are constantly refilling Dean's and each other's wine glasses (Cas declined politely after having one glass) and they have a good time. Dean even tries to help Donna with the dishes once they're done, but she very warmly tells him to sit his butt on the couch next to his boy or she’ll flick some dirty dishwater at him, and that’s enough of a threat that Dean sits on the couch with Jody and Donna.

“Alrighty, who’s ready for that interview,” Donna says, sitting down next to Jody with a notebook on her lap. She also fishes out a recording device from the pocket of her dress and puts it on the table.

“Just for recording purposes, this is Donna Hanscum speaking. Jody is also present, and we’re interviewing Castiel and Dean, the winners of our 2019 Summer Prize Paris Trip. Say hi, boys.”

She smiles warmly at Dean and Cas, who politely greet Donna and Jody as if they didn’t just have dinner with them.

“So tell me, did you enjoy your vacation here in Paris?”

Dean looks at Cas, telling him to go ahead with a smile.

“Absolutely. The past week has been incredible, and we are immensely grateful that we were chosen to win such a prize. Dean and I had a very nice time here.” Dean squeezes Cas’s hand at that.

“How about the activities? Is there anything you want to comment on? Any favorites?

“The croissant class was certainly a highlight. And the kayaking had—it was a stimulating experience, for sure.”

“I’m glad to hear that. So how did you find out about the trip? And is there any story with the sign-up?”

Cas now glances at Dean and raises his eyebrows. Dean clears his throat, and tries to tell the truth as much as possible.

“It was just—a TV ad I saw while I was with some other friends. We thought it might be a good idea to sign up? I never thought I’d… _we_ would actually win.”

Donna and Jody ask a couple more follow up questions and then their time is up. The atmosphere immediately becomes more relaxed after Donna switches off the recorder.

Before they leave completely, Cas gives Dean a significant look for a second to stop him from putting on his shoes.

“There’s something else we wanted to say.” Cas’s voice is serious.

Dean panics. Cas is going to tell them that their relationship was fake. But why would he? It’s true that it won’t change anything, considering that they’re flying home the next day, but why _would _he? They’re together now, so why would it matter? Dean thinks about five different ways to get Cas to stop talking, one of them involving just running out without his shoes on. But it never gets that far, because Cas continues talking.

“We are truly grateful for this trip. I am not joking when I say that the way this trip has gone—it really means a lot to us. So thank you for organizing this. We are very thankful.”

Okay, no panic. And the words actually really hit Dean, because they’re so true. And the sincerity is clear in Cas’s voice. Donna and Jody are clearly touched too, and they both hug Dean and Cas for a long time. Donna even gives Dean her private number and tells them to keep in touch.

\---

Their flight back is the next morning and Hannah brings them to the airport. They say goodbye and Dean gets surprisingly teary-eyed at the prospect of never seeing Donna, Jody or Hannah ever again. He spares a thought for Balthazar, but it doesn’t go far.

When Hannah gives him a fond look for the teary eyes he quickly wipes his face. 

“I’m just nervous about the flight.”

Hannah just smiles at him and then he hugs them too, because what the hell, he’s going to miss them too.

After waving a last goodbye, they gather their suitcases and head back home.


	6. Epilogue

Two weeks later, Dean comes home from work as usual. The first thing Cas did when they got home was burrowing himself into a blanket burrito. He just announced, 

“I am tired of people. No offense.”

Dean just answered, “None taken.” and they went on a few days of no-human-interaction treatment. Which obviously excluded each other, because nothing could have separated them at this point.

Now, he gathers up the mail as usual. He looks through it while he kicks the door shut behind him. Then he stops in his tracks and he can’t help but smile.

“Cas?”

It takes a minute, but Cas finally emerges out of his study, which is now a fully functioning office now that he moved his sleeping into Dean’s bedroom. Or now their bedroom. He pats over in socked feet and pecks Dean on the lips as a greeting. Dean will probably never get tired of this. But then he remembers what he’s holding in his hands.

“Guess what came in the mail today?”

Before Cas can answer, he waves the big envelope in his face.

“Is it the photos?”

Dean just grins at him and goes to the couch. “Let’s order take-away. I wanna look at these, pronto.”

They order pizza and settle down next to each other. It’s a surprisingly thick stack of printed-out photos and Dean is very excited. There is a letter that tells them to mark down any pictures they absolutely don’t want for publishing.

It’s a journey to look through them. Dean wasn’t even aware Balthazar took so many pictures, not having noticed the man in some situations that happened. He also has to admit that he’s a pretty damn good photographer.

They laugh at some of their ridiculous expressions, and especially when they get to to the kayak day, Cas has to set down his mug so he doesn’t spill tea all over himself from laughing.

It’s good to look back on and when they get to the end of the stack, Dean is actually quite emotional. He looks at Cas.

“This trip is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Because I finally got to be with you.”

“I would like to think we would have managed to figure it out at some point.”

“Really?”

“Hmmm, maybe… a decade later.”

“That sounds about right.”

So Dean kisses Cas now, because he can.

\---

“... and that’s how we finally got together.”

“What?” Sam for some reason looks startled. 

“Yeah, I mean getting attacked by wild animals is surprisingly quite a bonding experience,” Dean says, and smiles at Cas, who is translating his story into sign language to Eileen, who giggles quietly.

Sam still sits there, gobsmacked. 

“It’s really not that shocking—”

“Are you telling me. That you haven’t been together this whole time?”

“This whole time? Wait, are you saying you thought me and Cas were—how long, Sam?”

Sam just sits there, head in his hands, with Eileen now laughing full-on and rubbing his back in mild consolation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you leave a kudo or a comment (or even both) it will fill my heart with joy. :)
> 
> You can also find me [here on Tumblr](https://natmoose.tumblr.com/), if you want to scream at me. Or just have a friendly conversation.


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